The Fluffington Post

"Why don’t you just let us get on down the road?"

2011-10-02T08:36:00.000-05:00

"Do you know who I am?"

You know what gets me really hot? A man who knows what he wants and will go to any length to get it.

After a police officer pulled William over yesterday morning, all he did was apologize and say he was stressed out by the traffic around the Brooklyn Bridge. I asked him why he couldn't be more like Rick Perry, but for some reason that just made him mad. Of course, we got into it and had yet another fight that came down to sex.

This is what the selfishness of others has made us resort to so many times, and I'm tired of it. I understand that the US is a democracy, but there aren't even any elections right now and people were all over the street getting mad at Wall Street. What a useless way to spend your Saturday. If you don't have any money, I don't think getting mad at people with money is going to help you much.

We have been in New York this weekend because William's sister, who was divorced from her husband last year, sure enough has come out as gay since (I nailed it!), and was having an engagement party for her upcoming gay marriage. I promised William not only that I wouldn't blog, but also that I woudn't speak disparagingly about his sister's choices, but this is the way I've had to spend my weekend.

If this is how it feels to be protesting Wall Street, then I can sympathize.

Futility at its finest.

Michele Bachmann is Making it Hard...

2011-08-14T14:14:00.011-05:00

...for Rick Perry lovers to resist her.

What Up With All the Sluts?

2011-06-12T10:51:00.014-05:00

Hello Mr. Fluffington,

Thanks for your patience! William and I have been trying to negotiate whether or not blogging is an appropriate behavior for a respectable woman. I'm afraid we're at an impasse, though, so I am going to have to post this without his permission. I hope he doesn't find out.

I trust he trusts me enough not to come and check up me... especially after all this time. I know I should keep my private thoughts private, but after reading all the accounts of sluts in the news lately, I felt the Lord was giving me yet another sign that I was to return to blogging (the Rapture's coming and going being the first).

Recently, I read about Arnold Schwarzenegger and his illegitimate child. I know many women would say good on Maria Shriver for dumping the cheating bastard, but I do wonder if maybe she's making a decision based on insecurity. Maybe she brought a little of this upon herself. Did you see the way she endorsed Obama while her husband was a Governor endorsing McCain? Is that what faith and trust are all about, Maria? It's hardly surprising to discover he felt the need to turn to another woman to feel loved and respected. (Cindy McCain, beware.) I would never do that to William. It would make him ashamed of me and then I would feel ashamed of myself for making him feel ashamed. Shame can create a viscious cycle like that.

Fortunately, Schwarzenegger was not still the Governor of California when he was exposed, because I have every confidence that all of the other Republican Governors of the US would have called for him to step down from office. It's good that his mistress and ten year old son waited until he was out of office to scandalize him, because that would have really been putting extra work on all of our Republican Governors who are really busy these days slashing their education budgets in order to salvage the futures of their states. But, those Governors would have had no choice.

It's the same spot the Democrats are in right now with their shameful man Weiner, but they probably don't have the integrity like the Republicans would to oust him for his unethical behavior. If our politicians cannot be held to high moral standards, who can be? And, if our politicians won't keep their peers pure, who will? I am really against having the Government play a big role in the lives of private citizens and private businesses, but this may be a special case when there needs to be a law made to prevent this sort of immoral behavior.

I don't think Weiner broke any laws or anything, and that's where the problem lies. The Democrats are against making laws against immoral behavior. Instead, they are in favor of funding birth control and abortions. Some women these days are even encouraging women to dress like sluts. This is a feminist issue, and our women deserve better than to be told they can dress like sluts and then expect not to be treated like sluts!

Have you heard of these? SlutWalks? Apprently, all around the world women are revolting (sic) against a police officer who was trying to help them. He was giving them good advice about how to stay safe. Don't dress provocatively. Don't walk in public alone, especially after dark. If you have a flat as you're driving your car, lock your door and call a man to come help you change your tire. We all know that one. Otherwise, women, you will be living your lives in fear of the men who are out there, who will rape you. These men are the expected product a society which is confused about what is moral and what is amoral.

How would you feel if your daughter decided to write slut on herself and march through the streets saying she likes having sex? Ashamed? Confused? Proud?

Thanks, Mr. Fluffington!
Regards, Mims

If I'm Not Raptured...

2011-05-21T15:30:00.002-05:00

... I'll take it as a sign that I was meant to blog and be back in about a week.

Goin' to a Tea Party and We're Gonna Get (Straight) Married

2010-09-18T10:50:00.005-05:00

I sure do appreciate your ongoing support while I've had to be away from the blogging world these last eight months. I know what you're thinking, and no, I'm not pregnant. Not yet. My life just hasn't been conducive to blogging, what with William's disapproval and, frankly, I've been somewhat depressed ever since Barack Hussein Obama took over the American Government. It's really gone to hell, you know.

Of course, news of Sarah Palin's recent win and entry into the 2012 presidential hat ring have got this grrl excited about life and blogging again. Also, William's in rehab. Pills. Isn't it just the Lord's way or the highway? Always.

I've heard that the economy is still causing a world of hurt for folks, but, honestly, I don't see it. What I see is that good hard-working Americans who want to work are finding the work they need. They must be. I don't see people starving out in the streets or anything, you know.

Things have been really looking up for America, lately though, especially in the face of the evil-doers' seeming victory. Justice will be served, by God's hand or Man's. If people just have faith and work hard for America, victory will be theirs (Hers).

That's enough politics. I know politics can be a dry topic. At least it is for William and me. I think William would prefer I weren't such a progressive woman at times. He and I don't always see eye to eye on politics. I'm afraid he's gotten into an enabling role regarding homosexuality, probably because his sister is gay (even if she doesn't know it). Liberal politics is like a disease that can spread to the vulnerable. When William and I are rubbing each other the wrong way, sometimes the friction gets unbearable.

Despite my reminding William that it is his God-appointed duty as my husband to support my and the Bible's values, he still resists. He's been drugging himself to face his responsibilities, and some of that I could understand-- whiskey, scotch, that I could understand, but when I found Viagra in his shaving bag, I told him he really crossed the line. I told him there was no way I'd agree to a divorce, and that he needed to get some help. If he kept on with that trajectory, I'd be finding porn in his internet viewing history. I just know it. I figure while he's gone, I'll blog. I mean, what else am I supposed to do?

I've got our home operating like a well-oiled machine. Our staff is solid, I've got standing appointments for massages and manicures. Our trainers are doing great jobs with us, and if William isn't happy with the way things are now, I can't imagine how difficult he's going to find having a baby. I've had one of the best nannies reserved for the past few years now, and if he doesn't get his shit (pardon me) together within a year, we'll miss the opening she's reserved for us and we'll either have to go with another nanny or wait another three years to have a child. I'm glad I have a firm grasp on what's unacceptable, because William sure doesn't.

Well, I've got a Thanksgiving dinner to plan, a slew of thank you cards to write to folks who sent us well-wishes for William's recovery and Betty Ford spouses don't just organize themselves, as you well know.

Thanks, Mr. Fluffington!

Regards, Mims

The Way I See It #2012

2010-01-16T11:27:00.013-06:00

Once again, Sarah Palin is blowing me away. Just when I think she's given up, moved back into the woodwork of America, she jumps out to startle me. It seems she's right where she needs to be to win back the Presidency in 2012... in the spotlight. And, something that makes it all worth the wait? In this way, she'll be laying the foundation for others while she's at it. Beck, Limbaugh, Coulter, O'Reilly will soon be running for office themselves. I smell a revitalization of the Republican party brewing. It smells sweet, like a delicious Frappucino™.

All around, this just hasn't been a very good week for Obama, what with the earthquake and all. It has, however, been a great week for me! Business has been booming. I have 6 wedding receptions I am planning this spring already, William and I are still in our newlywed phase, but closer, almost ready, to have a baby, so there's that. He still hasn't been very happy about the idea of my blogging, so I've waited until he went out of town, which just hasn't been as often lately, ever since Miranda left the firm. I also had to stop therapy, because he says it's a waste of money, and I do agree with him on that. All that therapist ever wanted to do was talk about the way I feel, which I don't think is all that important. I was more interested in finding out what I should do. In any event, it's just added up to my being gone for some time, but just like Sarah, I'm back with a vengeance.

Here is a video of Glenn Beck wooing Sarah Palin a few days ago. It's so sweet how obviously smitten he is. I could so see that being me if I ever got a chance to read my blog aloud to Mrs. Palin, except for how that would make me gay. Ok, I might kiss Sarah Palin... just to see what it was like to kiss a girl. If ever there were a woman I would kiss it would be her, but the chances of that are really to slim too be getting my hopes up over. She does have a good body and it would be very convenient that she would probably would know the exact bible verses to dissuade me from such sinful acts as cupping those perky breasts in my hands and giving them a gentle squeeze. I would feel safe alone in a dark room with Mrs. Palin, especially if I got the urge to slide my hand up under her skirt, running my fingers along the garter belt I imagine she wears and easing my polished nails along the edge of those designer panties, just enough to get a moist feel of her heavenly wholesomeness, because I know in my heart what a principled strong woman she is. Unless, of course, she decided God's will would allow such things just for the sake of knowing what it's like to wear the shoes sinners walk in. Oh, my, now I feel so dirty. Back to business.

I first saw the aforementioned video at the blog of that self-proclaimedly "vituperative (I know, I had to look it up, too), foul-mouthed blogger", Blue Gal, so I found one I could embed from MEDIAMATTERS:

Thanks, Mr. Fluffington!
Love, Mims.

Stop (Your Fit) in the Name of Love Before I Tase Your Ass

2009-11-21T10:40:00.013-06:00

As all my readers know, I got started in blogging in large part due to Sarah Palin's inspiration. She inspired my wedding hair and she inspires me to be a woman with her head in the political game. She is a positive role model for young girls displaying how a woman can be a feminist, a mother, and a Christian through it all-- or underneath it all. Now, Sarah Palin can add author to her extensive list of accomplishments, and I can add her to my list of inspirational women writers, alongside Ann Coulter, Liz Cheney and Condaleeza Rice. Her newest book, Going Rogue is out and I can't wait to read it!

I am very excited that someone made an index for her book! I'm sure it will come in handy when I want to use selected quotes from her books at strategic points in arguments, kinda like one might use The Bible. Oh, someone should so do this for The Bible. Let me look. Great, an online illustrated Bible. Perfect for children! Speaking of children, I could go on and on about Sarah's commitment to both her children and her career, but, I wanted to share a few impressions of parenting in general.

William and I will have a child eventually, no doubt. We've been married since April and we haven't conceived yet, but I'm not worried yet. I'm sure when The Lord thinks we're ready, the timing will be perfect. The thing I do know is just how tough being a parent is. I've seen the struggles William's brother-in-law has with William's wife over how to raise their children, but he did bring much of it upon himself. He married a liberal (and lesbian). What did he expect? She even tried to emasculate him by asserting he doesn't have the right to spank his own children. What is this world coming to?

I'll tell you what smart people are doing in order to counteract this liberal bullshit; they are standing up for their rights! When this little girl in Arkansas decided she could disrespect her mother by refusing to take a bath, her mom stepped in and did the right thing. She put our tax dollars to work. She called the police to help her manage this out-of-hand ten year-old. When that ornery child also refused to listen to the authority of the law, after the mother's requesting as much, the police officer tased the child. What worries me about our country is that the Democrats would have us use our money to help freeloaders, which very may well risk the availability of valuable resources like the police in this case.

If you need any more evidence that socialism is coming to town, just take a look at this article. Communism is socialism's close neighbor, just down its slippery slope, and everyone knows rationing is one of communism's primary features. We are on our way, America, that is, unless a Sarah Palin and Glen Beck 2012 presidential win can bring us back to our senses. Even Steven Colbert, that beautiful conservative, won't stand for this!

Eggo Waffles Shortage Alert

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

www.colbertnation.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

U.S. Speedskating

I know this was more political than personal, but I'll be back soon to give you those updates, as well. I just felt called to share some of this with you.

Thanks Mr. Fluffington!
Love, Mims

Reflections on Being Rich and Other Obligations

2009-11-15T22:26:00.004-06:00

Dear Mr. Fluffington- It's been four score and seven massages ago since I last posted, and I'll tell you what, I'm going a little crazy over here. Ever since William fired Miranda, he hasn't been taking all the out of town trips he was taking before, and I must admit, I've been going a little stir crazy. Ok, more than a little.

On top of that, William's parents have been here visiting us in sunny California (see pic) and I am just about tired of of all of this "Good Housekeeping" competition. Well, since William doesn't approve of my blogging, I thought it only respectful to wait until he's out of town to do so. Really, it's been too long.

We were =><= close to having William's mother put in a nursing home; then, she and Charlie decided to come for a visit. We couldn't exactly say no without giving away our plans, so we just went with it, but what started out as a two-week housewarming visit turned into a four-week domesticity challenge from Hell and beyond. So much has been going on politically. Though you know I am more interested in the politics of feminism, I haven't gotten a chance to talk with you about the fact you don't have to be Sarah Palin to see the socialism creeping into the US from Russia. I'm very worried right now about what the ramifications are of every US citizen having health insurance. It baffles me how people who believe in evolution still wish to deny this most basic function of survival of the fittest. Baffles me. If every US citizen (and illegal aliens, don't you know) is covered insurance-wise, just think of how many hospital and insurance company bill collectors in the US of A are going to be out of their jobs. Thousands, I'd bet. Fortunately, rich people have stepped up to display what should be done to help our economy. Shop. I know it's easy to get sick of shopping, but all you rich people reading my blog, know that is it your responsibility to keep this economy running like the well-oiled machine we know it capable of being. (And, don't forget, that takes oil!)

What else has been going on in politics? I am glad that these midterm elections have us seeing Obama moving into his lame duck phase. Ineffectual, as we conservatives predicted. This is fortunate. As can be expected as par for the course, of course, he refused to take a bold stand up against terrorists by condemning the terrorist attack on Fort Hood. I could go on and on, but if being married these past six months has taught me anything, it's to back up and let people see the errors of their ways themselves. I'm pretty sure everyone is lamenting America's choice about now, especially those of us who were ready to see John McCain pick up another trophy, a Nobel Peace Prize, though I just can't see such a maverick getting such a mainstream honor. Can you?

Well, as this holiday season comes upon us, I know William will be traveling a bit more, so I'll be seeing you under the mistletoe.

Thanks, Mr. Fluffington

Love, Mims

2009-10-10T10:19:00.004-05:00

Well, Mr. Fluffington, it seems, I once again spoke prematurely. Once Barack Hussein Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize, I realized there is no voice of reason I could provide that could save the liberal blogosphere from itself in the eyes of a Christian God. Maybe Bob was right. And, as my favorite doctor, Dr. Laura, might suggest, I should listen to the men in my life, even if I don't know them from Adam in the blogosphere. Maybe, my expressing myself has gotten old. I certainly know William thinks so.

So, while a new political season might provide me with more hope for the future, I am woman enough to admit that Sarah Palin inspired a lot of budding social activists, like myself, to jump out from behind our nice woodworking and share our two cents. Any more would surpass charity and move us on into the realm of socialism, would it not?

Since I haven't been writing here much at all, I've decided just to full-heartedly throw myself into the Junior League and entertaining and I may even teach children alternative theories to the theory of evolution at a Sunday school class at a church in my area. I'm not sure what I'll say, but just like here, I know that if I give them to God, he will take my words and use them for the highest good.

Thank you, Mr. Fluffington!

Can We Talk?

2009-08-16T16:16:00.013-05:00

I know I usually am strictly about the business of sharing my political views here with you, but today I just need for this to be a bit more personal than that. Today, I need to just get some things about being married off my chest.

This is a picture of William and me with Miranda and her "fiancé". He's the tall, obviously gay, one and of course, she's the blonde. It's a bit hard to tell the slutty way she dresses usually in that picture, but I assure you she's wearing a thong under that silky nighty she calls a dress.

I can just tell by looking at this picture that William is looking at her breasts. She wasn't even wearing a bra, though I do admit my regret in wearing high heels and that tall hat, the combination of which give off the emasculating impression that I am taller than William. I'm not!

I don't know why I let William talk me into going out to eat with Miranda and her fiancé. We have nothing in common, but William, and then they just spent the whole time talking about work. I see how she captivates him. It's not that I'm jealous that they spend more time together than William and I do, and I know William couldn't see anything in a woman like her beyond some meaningless and tawdry romp in the hay, but I am not naïve. I am well aware of the fact that during our engagement, my virginity was an incentive for William to remain faithful, but now I am a bit concerned that if I don't get pregnant soon, William will start to get the urge to, pardon my french, plant his seed elsewhere.

I've never been married before. I don't believe in divorce, which may not have needed to be said, and so I don't really know what sorts of signs a man puts out when he's ready to have a baby. Now, William has never really said that he wanted to have a child outright, but he's known for years that I do and he married me, so....

There are a few things that have been bothering me. I am not completely clear which are normal and which aren't, so I've been listening to Dr. Laura's radio program and even just bought her book, The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. I know, I know that Sarah Palin has been my hero, but that was back when I was a single woman, a feminist. Dr. Laura says feminism kills women! Ouch. I mean, I can look at Miranda and see that she's dying inside, but literally? It's hard to believe.

I'm not going to make a decision about whether William and I are ready to have a baby or not until I read Dr. Laura's book, but I am also hoping to pick up a few relationship pointers, particularly regarding sex. I've heard Dr. Laura say on her program that it is my penultimate responsibility to keep myself in good shape in order to keep William happy. I mean, how can women who let themselves go expect their men not to stray?

I've just got to keep praying on these matters. My whole world view is sort of disintegrating before me. I'd always thought of myself as liberated. Before I got married, I was making good money, but taking care of a house is hard work, and even with a lot of help, I have been working less. Plus, with the way this new administration's been screwing up the economy. Darn, I wasn't going to get all political.

For the time being, I am glad I am blogging. William didn't approve of my getting therapy after we got married, so I am just trying to keep up the things my therapist recommended, like blogging, and maybe I can pick up a few books to help myself. And, oh my gosh, there is so much good information here in Dr. Laura's blog about marriage. I'm really glad that I already do that first thing, not expect William to do the women's work around the house. How emasculating. Exactly. Oh, this is rich. I will have much to read about and much to do here with all this material.

I kind of wish there were a male version of Dr. Laura for husbands, just so I knew William was getting the proper sorts of advice on how to properly care for and feed me, but, I guess, for now, I'll have to properly care for and feed us both.

I feel so much better to get these worries off my chest. I'll share with you what I read over there at Dr. Laura's blog. Oh, here's an excerpt:

"Women who want emasculated men generally have huge hostility issues with masculinity (which they got from their mothers or the feminist teachers of their women’s studies courses), and want to be able to control the man (never as much as their mother could) or are just too scared of their normal natural dependency on a real man.

A better study would be to find out what household situations make MEN happiest, because those are the ones which, overall, are going to attract the men who make the best husbands. Happy husbands spend more time with their families, and would swim through shark-infested waters for them. This particular study? Just another piece of feminist propaganda flotsam."

Oh, how I wish I'd read this before I got married. I've probably already made a thousand mistakes. This should be required reading for young women instead of reading that sex ed smut in schools. Oh, I was just getting finished here, so I'll not get started. I've got some re-evaluating, working out, and chores to do, it seems, so I'll get to it.

Thanks, Mr. Fluffington!

Love, Mims

Obama Says He's Healed the Economy!

2009-08-09T13:15:00.005-05:00

Well, it's done. It's over. America's grave economic crisis has gone the way of Earth Firsters clenching redwoods. It's given up the ghost. The economy was spanked by its Daddy, and ran away crying, agreeing to play nice.

If you believe that, I've got a bagel stand in the Gaza Strip I want to sell you. Somehow, miraculously, Obama increased the number of people on unemployment (read now dependent on the government), and then when it goes down slightly, he's claiming victory. Not only that, he has the gall to blame the Bush administration when it's his administration which created this crisis in the first place. All we can really hope for now, folks, is that the real mavericks will step up and take responsibility. God knows someone needs to do so.

Obama's been in office for nearly 8 months now. Just think about this... In just over a month more (remember September 11th?) into Bush's first term, he was already beginning to lead the world in protecting the US and democracy by starting an exploratory mission to starting the War on Terror. I am scared to think what would happen to the US if this Obama administration were forced to face such a challenge right now. Obama 's administration can't even handle foreign affairs without calling on former presidents to do all the heavy lifting. I hope when they call on George Bush, he tells them to go to Hell.

Maybe, there is a slim population of America benefiting from all the socialism, but I'm not buying it! I don't want to buy even one more welfare mamma a boob job, not while I'm sitting here wearing last year's Ralph Lauren due to drops in new home sales here in Malibu, anyway. My economy has been hurt, and you don't hear me begging for a handout. Not nearly as many people as who were doing so before are throwing parties these days. If William's family didn't have a shit ton of old family money, I'm not sure what we'd be doing right now..., driving Ford Focuses, I suppose.

When will this nightmare ever end? Don't you know, your priorities are screwed up if you value a rain forest's virginity more than you value a human's?

Sheez, I just had to get some of this hate off my chest. It doesn't go well with my eyes, I must say, and these frown lines are going to stick, if I don't watch it, which is why, once again, I am thankful to be a blogger. Maybe, next time I can spend my time here on a happier note, like telling you all about planning my and William's first anniversary vacation to A WHOLE ISLAND in the Bahamas next April! William surprised me early, so I'd have something to do while he and Miranda are off on their business trips. In this economy, I should just be glad people still need lawyers, I suppose.

Thanks Mr. Fluffington!

Love, Mims

Evildoers Would Dissuade Us From The Promised Land

2009-07-25T08:09:00.004-05:00

Politics are just getting out of hand in America. People just complain and complain and they're not getting any of the important work done. Let's take this birthers thing. For one thing, the name is just driving me crazy. It is too close to resembling Pro-Lifers, a term that is here to stay, whereas this birthers "movement" will get flushed down the toilet just like our health care system on socialism. Any questions?

Everyone knows that Obama and McCain are legitimate candidates for president, but the liberals are pulling their literal crap, like they do with The Bible to argue, in a sense, that Obama has a more legitimate claim to the presidency than McCain, which I think is unarguably propaganda. The citizenship stipulation for presidential eligibility is "natural-born" citizen. Natural-born killers of our constitution have lain down a precedent that "natural-born" be defined as a person who is a citizen of the US at birth. Obama is by virtue of birth locale (not blood), and McCain is moreso by blood, but less by Panama. Panama wasn't a US territory at the time of his birth, but that's ok, because his parents' citizenship and residency pass the mustard, but let's look at this.

Quite often in the law intent is considered. We all know that Obama's mother was messing around with a foreigner and living as far away from American civilization as one can be and still live in America, in Hawaii, while McCain's being in Panama was a direct reflection of how much his parents loved America. His father was in the military.

Don't get me wrong. I think a man should be given his due based on the merits, but the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree, as they say, and we all know that what it boils down to is that McCain is more patriotic than Obama. For that matter, Schwarzenegger is, as well. I just hope the birthers don't make too big of a deal about technicalities here and shoot themselves in the face when it comes time to get Arnold elected. We're gonna need all we can get. Unfortunately, when Sotomayor is confirmed that will be even harder.

Though the Democrats are taking America to hell in a hand basket, at least the American spirit is not totally dead. I'm pretty bitter today. (It's that Miranda- I'll tell you later.) But, this video of Katie Holmes on my favorite tv program really cheered me up today. I hope you enjoy it.

happy 8r @ Yahoo! Video

h/t to Mock, Paper, Scissors

I Cannot Believe This Woman!

2009-07-19T22:30:00.003-05:00

h/t to Omnipotent Poobah

Who's on Top?

2009-07-18T14:37:00.012-05:00

I just love how the Democrats have been messing themselves up lately. Democrats just can't stay in the spotlight like Republicans can, and they should accept it, roll over and cash their welfare checks already. It seems clear that we've got ourselves two very charismatic leaders, mavericks indeed, to go up against Obama for his second term. The only problem is, who should be at the bottom of the 2012 ticket, and who should be at the top?

Both Mark Sanford and Sarah Palin would make excellent commanders in chief, so how are we to choose? There are pros and there are cons to each. I think the most obvious difference between Sanford and Palin is that he is a man and she is a woman. While I've no need to go into any typical sexist propaganda, I think one of the most important aspects to consider is Sarah Palin's reproductive status. Could she carry on the duties of a president is she were to be blessed with another child? It's clear that she would take the moral high ground and keep the baby... for obvious reasons. Are we ready as a nation to have politicians who are pregnant while in office? Should we inquire about her birth control methods? Are they our business? I would assume that she and Todd use the rhythm method. Could being the president potentially throw off Sarah's cycles if she were under a tremendous amount of duress? These are tough questions, but I think this topic in general gives Sanford the upper hand.

The reality is, however, that Palin is one of those gals who has the audacity to be on top, and even enjoy it. I really couldn't imagine such brazenness, but I see that she has it, for better or for worse. She has that leadership quality, and Mark Sanford owes her a solid. Palin not only quit her day job, so she could devote herself fully to campaigning, but her timing.... Impeccable. There is chemistry between those two that's undeniable, and that could make for a great presidential team. A couple of free thinkers who follow their guts. That's what this country needs. No more business as usual. As to who is on top and who is on bottom, the Lord will sort out the details.

Speaking of details, I have had a lot going on lately. William and I have decided to spend wildfire season on vacation. Only we can't decide between Cancun and San Juan. This is really a hard decision. I asked William if we could just not decide and go to both, but he and Miranda have a business conference they have to attend in the middle of August, and there is no time to go to a second place.

That Miranda's grown on me quite a bit. It seems that someone may have sent her an anonymous postcard to alert her to the impropriety of wearing thong panties that showed out of the top of the back of one's slacks, or even worse yet, skirts. A certain someone may have offered up some most valuable advice as to how men, at least the marrying kind, like to have a little left to the imagination. Otherwise, what's their incentive for getting married. Miranda has asserted that she and "her boyfriend" are engaged, but I've seen her call here at odd hours, crying, asking to talk to William. Her relationship is on the rocks, but even I could see that he is gay a mile away. Poor Miranda. She's such a beautiful woman, but she just has no sense when it comes to men.

Well, tomorrow I am substitute teaching Mrs. Roth's 10:30 AM Young Adult Sunday School Class. I am so excited to have an opportunity to talk to the young people about taking their virginity oaths. I'd love to sponsor a father/ daughter virginity dance/ dinner/ ceremony before school starts back up. The Lord blesses those who do his work, and I am truly blessed.

I must go; I have been studying brochures for nursing homes in the Dallas area for William's mother. He said he doesn't think she needs to be in a home, but I just know after he sees what these places offer, he'll change his mind.

I almost posted Stand By Your Man, but I really wanted to play this mavericky political song to lift my spirits to a future when Republicans have gained back the Senate.

Barracuda by Heart

More Heart music on iLike

I Must Confess I am a Sucker for True Love

2009-06-28T15:21:00.011-05:00

Oh my, the news has been busy these past few weeks, and there is much to discuss in the media. On top of that, so much has been going on in my personal life, that I've been too busy to stop and reflect much. Between Iran, North Korea, Mark Sanford, Michael Jackson, and Miranda, I've had my mind full, and with a dinner party, a cruise, a spa day birthday retreat for my mother-in-law, I've had my hands full. With all that marriage and church entails, I've had my heart full, and I've just got to spit some of this out before I simply explode!

First, I've just got a bit to say about the international fiascos Obama is creating in the world scene. It's not enough that he's a wimp when it comes to Iraq and Afghanistan, but now, as we Republicans easily foresaw, he's failing on the fronts of Iran and North Korea. George W Bush did not declare a war on terrorism rather than on a single country for a reason. He did not want to tie this country's hands when it came to dealing with dictatorships. He went around promising diplomatic talks with lunatics and look what he's got... a HOT MESS! George Bush would have declared war on those frightful men for their actions against the US this week, that's for sure. Obama could learn a thing or two about bravery from the Republicans. It's true.

After all Sarah Palin's had to deal with this last year, now add liberal elites David Letterman and John Kerry to the mix! Can't someone just give this woman a break? It's clear she's dressed to succeed, and that cannot be beat, so those fools should just get out of her way. She'll always get the last laugh. She's proven that in her public service, hasn't she? Anyway, making light of Mark Sanford's predicament is just cruel. Shame on you John Kerry, and shame on you, Jenny Sanford!

I think that this is what I really wanted to write about here. There have been a few times I have been a little jealous of Miranda's working relationship with William, but there is nothing that sompares to marriage. Not sex. That's for sure. But, Mrs. Mark Sanford has said where her allegiances lie, and they are not with her husband, that is apparent in her insistence that they separate, and in her not greeting her man at the airport to stand by him at his touching press conference. It's clear that he wants his marriage to work and that she's given up. I read the emails. He loves this woman in Argentina, and I think it's God's will that he be with her. If he were to marry her and help her become a US citizen and then ran for vice president in 2012 with Sarah Palin on the top of the ticket, I think that would be a winning combination. A combination with (pardon me) the balls to stand up to the likes of Ahmadinejad and Il. A combination with some real family values, rather than the likes of some of the immoral Democrats!

Well, I'm not pregnant yet, but when God decides it's time, it will be time. My mother-in-law's birthday is coming up and I am going to Dallas to help organize a spa retreat weekend for her, William's sister, and me to spend together. I figure it's a good way for us to get in a little mother-daughter-sister bonding. Lord, help me. I'll need it with the Queen Bitch and the Lesbian Breeder. I've been a little bored with being a housewife from time to time. When Lupita is cleaning, it is excruciating to watch how slowly she goes through the house to dust and mop. If I were paying her by the hour, I would be enraged. It's bad enough I have to house sit my own house that long, but I tolerate it because she does do a good job, and even though I had to listen to her baby cry while she brought her to work and wore her on her back that one time, I've decided to turn the other cheek and be the better person. She's a charity project, of sorts.

Well, I'm busy. William is having his buddies from the club over. I like Gregor's wife well enough, but Kirk's wife, Kim, drives me batty. I'd better stock up on some extra appletini mix and vodka. I'm not ovulating for another week, and since I won't have to drive William and I around like usual, I think tying one on and maybe speaking my mind for a change might make for an interesting evening. Jesus, please forgive me in advance for my imminent sarcasm. Though it's unseemly in a woman, since I've got William's unconditional support now that we're married, I think a higher good can only come from it.

Thanks, Mr. Fluffington!

Love, Mims

Is the Housewife Becoming an Endangered Species?

2009-06-06T15:23:00.017-05:00

I haven't blogged in some time. I have been trying to adapt to my new life as a housewife. After William and I got married, I quit working so I could become a proper housewife. I am hoping that when we have children, I will be prepared to be a proper mother. What I am seeing right now is exactly how vital it is, if I have a girl, to pass on the housewife tradition to her. Sure, there are guides out there, but no one can teach you how to make hospital corners or cornbread quite like a mother. I fear housewifery may be becoming a lost art.

The brutal erosion of marriage in 6 states already is beginning to feel like an epidemic, spreading from the liberal Northeast into the heartland of America. Iowa? People, we can't let this happen. The world and its morals as we know them are endangered! Before we know it, Christians may well become a minority breed, and then we know that many will be too weak to resist the homosexuals' coercive measures, their sexual allure.

Having been married this past month and a half, I have experienced first-hand the effects of the erosion of marriage. Whether it be my invitations to other couples to come and enjoy a lovely cup of tea or evening of charades, or my futile attempts to carpool with our neighbors to church, all around me my efforts to strengthen the moral fabric of my community have been rebuked. None of my married friends can offer me the recipes, the housecleaning tips, or other man-pleasing techniques I need to make my husband happy in the bedroom. I feel lost.

How do women manage to scrub the toilets, air the rugs, do the dishes, feed their families without some semblance of tradition? Sure, I have a lady that comes into the house twice a week, but there is so much other stuff to do. I have had to decorate our new home, drop off William's dry cleaning; why, I even taught Sunday School last week. I'm just wondering how I will be able to have children on top of all my current responsibilities without sacrificing my principles. Oh, it feels good to say. I do know, though, that prayer is the answer.

So, besides the domestic front, and my obvious disgruntlement with our collectively poor political choices recently, things have been going alright. Ever since William and I were married, his work has picked up considerably. He has had to travel out of town nearly every week for the last six weeks, which I suppose is to be expected for an attorney of his stature. Sometimes, I'm a little insecure that Miranda's going with him all over the place, but ever since William and I tied the knot, I've been more reassured that he is mine and no other woman's. I do, however, need to figure out a good source of information pertaining to our sex life. Surely, if there is such a big ruckus about it all, there must be more that I'm not getting. I just can't let on to William that I am having such thoughts. I don't want to let on to him whatsoever that I do not find sex very fulfilling. I'd hate to burst his bubble.

Well, I intend to return to this blogging thing. I anticipate that since I fired Lupita and hired Juanita, I should be able to have more free time. That Lupita didn't know her ass from an oven mitt. One time, I went into the kitchen while she was cleaning to find her cooking beans in a bowl of cold water. Sheeez. Mags recommended Juanita, and I must say, she is a little better fit for our home- though I could stand to hear less of her chit-chattering away on her cell phone in Spanish all day. If she spoke in English, at least, I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not she talks about me. As it is, sometimes I think she is snickering at me about my lack of womanly prowess. Surely, she doesn't blame me for the decay of housewifery in our country. It's not like I don't get out and go shopping. It's just that she may not know it, because I like to stay home while she's there cleaning. Call me olde fashioned. Oh well.

Bye, Mr. Fluffington.

Third Time's a Charm

2009-04-26T15:21:00.014-05:00

This is the third partial post I've written since becoming Mrs. von Thirstnhowl. I didn't finish it properly, but my not posting has put me en league with lazy liberal bloggers who get all their posts for free. Sarah Palin. Dick Cheney. Ann Coulter. Donald Rumsfeld. George Bush. Bill O'Reilly. Condaleeza Rice. Rush Limbaugh. Pat Robertson. Tom Cruise. Exploited cases in point. All we have are Al Gore. Michael Moore. Oprah Winfrey and Keith Olbermann. We can't even use Ted Kennedy anymore or we're being insensitive.

Oops. I digressed. Here's the post I wrote yesterday until I just laid down and cried on my bed for the rest of the evening while William worked late. I hope I'm pregnant.

I really should have been here sooner, I know. William and I have been back from out honeymoon in Belize for over a week now and I haven't even let any of our loyal readers know how my wedding went. I want to thank all of you who purchased lovely wedding gifts for us. (You know who you are.) The Sarah Palin hair poll can finally go away since I wore my hair up and it was a smashing success. I even had it dyed Sarah's color, so it could look exactly like hers.

I suppose the real truth is that I've been in a post-wedding depression of sorts. After all the years of planning, after all of the work and anticipation, it's over. Sure I got a lot of silver and crystal, some beautiful home decorations, that Lexus from William, and loads of cash, but besides that what makes being married so special. I don't even really feel different.

And now, I don't even have my virginity. William pushed and pushed to have sex all this time, and I really wanted our first time to have sex with each other to be special, and I'm not saying it wasn't, but I expected more I guess. After about 10 minutes, and I was looking at the clock, so I think that's right, all I could think about was how Miranda caught my bouquet. Who even invited her? And William's mother. Her toast to me was so cold and aloof that I fear she will never love me as her own. Her daughter.

I guess I just wished that William and I talked more. I've been feeling lonely, I suppose and I expected being married to cure my loneliness forever. It almost seems worse. There must be something wrong with me. Other women who are married always look so happy. I don't even feel like I fit in with them. Maybe when William and I have a child, I'll feel better about the other wives, but for now, all I hear them do is complain about being married. C'mon. They probably don't know what it's like for a woman to not get married until she's in her 30's. By that point a woman starts to question whether or not she will even ever get married, much less have children. I am blessed on those accounts certainly.

Don't get me wrong. William and I were a stunning bride and groom. I could hear the hushed exclamations of admiration as I was walking down the aisle, but I guess I just expected something to happen between William and I.

As I stated above, this is as far as I got yesterday, so I'm posting it anyway. I think I'm feeling better today. I am concerned about Swine Flu. There's no doubt that Obama's inexperience will prove disastrous as this situation develops into an emergency. People will be sorry they do not have Sarah Palin's experience as a medically responsible mother to guide them. Just look at how her pro-active measures have kept her children healthy (besides Trig, of course). I'm not referring to him in any way shape or form, ever. Never. Not like those nasty liberals who wanted to claim she was Bristol's child. Well, Bristol was pregnant, so that would be impossible and don't they look stupid now? And, I'll not mention how illegal immigration is no doubt going to be the cause of many deaths here in the US. God is stern with his children because he loves them. Do not forget that as you go and spread his love.

I do feel better, getting these things off my chest and helping others- as this post no doubt will.

Thanks, Mr. Fluffington.
Love, Mims

A Little Pick Me Up

2009-04-05T12:27:00.008-05:00

Dear Mr. Fluffington-

Boy, can I use your advice today. I have been so depressed I haven't even done pilates today; instead I ate two pints of Häagen-Dazs coffee ice cream. Now, I feel so fat and I am supposed to go to a Junior League luncheon with Miffy and Yummy. They will, no doubt, be far skinnier than me, and then how ashamed will William be... if he gets back from the out-of-town conference he and Miranda had to go to in Sarasota this weekend. His flight will be cutting it close. Hopefully, he won't miss his connecting flight in Las Vegas again and have to stay overnight this time.

I can't decide which of my spring dress suits I should wear. What do you think?

1. This one? (Pink Suit)
2. This one? (Coral Suit)
3. This one? (Fuschia Suit)
4. This one? (Ruffled Suit- I've never worn this one; it's a tad contemporary.)
5. This one? (Iris Suit- This is the one I'm leaning toward.)
6. This one? (Turquoise Suit)
7. This one? (Purple suit)

For those of you planning to attend my wedding, please be sure to check out William's and my gift registry. You can find it under Mimi von Huffnsnort and William von Thirstnhowl, wedding, April 2009. Of course, religious memorabilia is always welcome, as well. And, because William and I care about our moral environment, we will donate 1% of Neimann's sales to the pro-life group or church of your choosing, as well!

Well, once again, blogging perked me up!

Thanks, Mr. Fluffington.

Love, Mims

Lord, Let Me Be an Instrument of Thine Peace... In Moderation!

2009-03-29T15:08:00.008-05:00

You know, I am just so sick of talking about my wedding, planning my wedding, thinking about my wedding, conversing about my wedding that I just want to think about sweet things. Fluffy things. A bed of rose petals. My mink stole. My untouched breasts. My cashmere sweaters touching my untouched (except for by cashmere) breasts. My legs after I've just had them waxed.

I could just fall back onto these marshmallows, the pink one in particular, my sinful steamy lust melting away in their sugary sweetness.

Indeed, William will expect for me to have sex with him on our wedding night. I don't want to think about that. The pressure. The uncompromising position he will undeniably put me in. Does he expect me to submit to him just like that, like I'm his piece of property? Does he expect me to let him put that hard monstrosity into the softest thing of all? Oh, I almost forgot, I need to schedule a bikini wax for the day before the wedding.

Back to relaxing thoughts. A bath with the lavendar bath oils. My feet after I've pumiced them raw, tiny red toenails freshly manicured. Will William want to suckle them, or perform some other sort of strange fetish rite?

Will he wish to have a ménage à trois after I've had a baby and gained weight, when I'd rather not let him see me naked? Will he fantasize about my kissing another woman while I'm making love to him? How coarse, he'll be. Will he want to do unspeakable and disgusting things to me, like place his mouth where God never intended it, forcing my hips down while he insists it is my wifely duty, my holy duty to accept the vile pleasure he so erroneously insists is mine. Will I come to enjoy his insults to my better sensibilities? Will I abandon my morals as he greases up his hard cock that has already well exhausted me, allowing him to ease it into unspeakable orifices while I am out of my mind, confused by Satan's lust that he might deliver me to Hell's gates, an unintending accomplice?

My fears are abounding and as my wedding looms, I need to focus on soft things, squishy things.

I think I'll go change the wedding flower order and re-arrange the dinner table seating again. That always cheers me up.

Thank you, Mr. Fluffington!

2009-03-21T10:09:00.009-05:00

I can't tell you how proud I am of Sarah Palin for once again doing the right thing. Turning down the liberal federal bribe money for one's state can't be easy, but she did it- once again proving what a maverick she is! I can't help but think of how much better off our country would be right now if Sarah had become President of the Senate. Believe you me, stem cell research and foolish talk of withdrawal from Iraq would be off the table. So would pork- except the yummy kind.

I haven't blogged lately. My wedding is scheduled to occur in only 25 days and since William has chilled out about wanting sex lately, I am feeling more confident that he is regarding me matrimonially rather than sinfully. I'm very grateful that this stressor's been removed from my hands, since I have plenty of other things to deal with in preparing for the wedding. I'm starting to come around to his intern Miranda; maybe she's not so bad. Ever since she started helping him with his current cases, he's been far less disrespectful that way. I'm wondering if, perhaps, she talked some sense into him. However it's happened, I'm feeling much more secure in our relationship.

I was also worried when I found out my hairdresser decided to move away after Prop 8 passed. I think he's moving to Massachusetts (you lucky ladies), but not until the first of May, so that really solidifies my sticking with our April wedding date. My hairdresser, Tony, is a nice young man, but his priorities are in all the wrong places. I have searched my heart on more than one occasion as to whether it is the right thing or not to patronize an establishment that is supporting the gay agenda as his salon so clearly does with that rainbow flag in the window and whatnot, but I think The Lord has placed me in his life for some higher purpose. My neice BethAnne thinks he's cute and since she will be one of my bridesmaids, maybe up to May is all the time The Lord needs to bring those two to a meeting of the heart. Sometimes the world cannot be taken for its appearances. The Lord always has a plan, and we all know homosexuality has no place in it. I know, my wedding is certainly not about BethAnn and Tony finding love, but rather my doing so, but the fact that a holy union such as mine and William's could have such a side effect only attests to the complexity of The Lord's plan, and how we, as mere humans, cannot presume to know the ways of The Lord.

I have been blessed with more than enough work in recent months. It seems that people are entertaining extravagantly in their own homes rather than traveling to Europe and the like, which is good for business. It really pisses me off that liberals want to socialize our workforce. It could very well be me out of work, and if it were me, I would want no handouts. Expanding unemployment to benefit more people is going in the wrong direction. Giving more people free healthcare just reinforces the idea that if one is lazy and does nothing, the government will take care of him (or her). This is the wrong message to send our children. If they are worried about their livelihoods, their health, their country's moral safety, then they will work harder to keep their jobs, and will no longer be willing to allow illegal immigrants to work all the jobs at their skill levels. If people are industrious enough, they will find ways to pull themselves up by their bootstraps. I don't think Sarah Palin got where she is today by taking hand-outs. People are pissing and moaning about CEOs getting bonuses, but I can assure you that they are just jealous that they are doing poorly. Free-enterprise and capitalism is the basis for our economy and funnily enough, those who wish to teach our children about evolution in lieu of biblical facts are the very same people who balk at survival of the fittest in the financial sector. Hypocrites one and all they are.

Stepping down off my soapbox for now. It's clear that there is a clear mandate for my hair to be worn up at my wedding from the poll results, so I'll have to post a few pics soon of hair that's up, so I can narrow down my choices. I'd like Tony to go through a practice run on my wedding hair, so that there are no surprises the day of. Surprises on a gal's wedding day are no fun from what I hear.

Be well, Mims.

Like a Virginity Rant

2009-02-21T13:55:00.029-06:00

This week when I was in Houston visiting my parents and breaking the news that my and William's wedding was postponed, I saw the first Mountain Laurels of the year in bloom. Actually, I smelled them first, but the point is that their grape soda scent reminded me of the cyclical ways of nature, particualy those of women. We're born. We drive. We graduate from college. We get married. We loose our virginities. We have children. We join the Junior League. We die.

That's the way God intended. If you don't believe me, can you at least believe The Bible? But, sometimes these events in a woman's life occur in a different order. Some women get married before they finish college. Even I am unconventional. For instance, being a little older than many when they marry, I am joining The Junior League before having children. These things do happen. The are in God's will (The Bible), but the order of the fifth and sixth items on that list are simply non-negotiable.

When I was a young woman, I recall seeing one of the first in a lifetime of lovable reality television shows, Star Search, and being astounded by the vocal abilities of one young woman in particular, Britney Spears. She was such an inspiration to me for years. She knew how to dance and be sexy, but she kept her virginity intact. Or, at least that's what I thought, until I read Lynne Spears' book. I feel as though I have had a myth of mine broken. It's as if someone just told me that The Virgin Mary wasn't a Virgin when she had Jesus. Can you imagine? Even though she was younger than me, Britney had long been a role model of mine. When I thought I couldn't do something, I would think of Britney and her awesome spunk, and I would push myself to achieve when I was about to give up on. This changes everything.

I always blamed Madonna for corrupting Britney when she molested her at those MTV Music Awards. Madonna should have been arrested on the spot! But what did that sick audience do? It applauded. We can hardly blame Britney for what happened after that. She started hanging around Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton, lesbian and porn star, and then the rest I don't need to tell you, because every one of her steps has been reported by the media.

I had sympathy all that time for her. I thought she had been taken advantage of by her parents and record execs, but after reading her mother's book last week, I am shocked to discover that the reports of her losing her virginity at age 14 are true. It really is appalling. And now, she is a role model for entirely different reasons- for negative reasons. "You don't want to end up like Britney, now do you?" is a reasonable question for me to ask my neice. She gets all wide-eyed, and shakes her head. "Ohhh nooo, I don't," she wisely replies, but she is only 9, and I am just hoping that the reverse does not happen on a subconscious level, that BS makes that sort of behavior acceptable in the eyes of our youth.

I think the responsible thing for Britney to do to redeem herself would be for her to reclaim her virginity while she goes with Kevin to her minister and starts to work out her marriage in the eyes of The Lord. William and I have been having some nice talks, getting back to basics ever since I postponed the wedding. I made it clear that he was going to have to choose between marrying me and having Marissa as an intern in his firm. For a minute, he almost seemed to really think about the choice. Our whole engagement flashed before my eyes, and I realized that it doesn't really matter what William does. I am his and he is mine.

What got me thinking about all this was a wonderful comment that was left to my last post re: the lesbian in The Junior League. Just look at this disgusting picture of these two lesbians. One of them looks pregnant, blessed with a child of The Lord, presumably, and she has the gall to liken the evils of promiscuity and homosexuality to the necessary evil that is war. I want to be mad about this, but, really, it all just makes me sad. Our society just has its priorities all mixed up.

I decided that Bukko is right, that playing with fire is dangerous. The other day I met that lesbian in the Junior League and am very frightened at how normal she seemed to me. I even thought she seemed nice. That really made me think and after I got home, I got down on my knees and asked God to help me find the fault in her that I might not fall into the very same unfortunate trap. It was just in time, too, because that very night I had a dream in which I kissed a lesbian, and I liked it.

Frightening.

So, I have now reset the date of my and William's wedding to April, which is not a second to soon judging from William's reaction to my telling about my dream. He became aroused and was talking about it very inappropriately. I got tinglier than I've ever been when we were kissing and had to tear myself away from him and go cool off just to be able to go to a restaurant with him last night.

This world is so confusing.

I am back to being impatient about getting married, because I know that once William and I are married, things will just get easier and easier for us.

I suppose I'd better go. I've got to call the caterer, the florist, my trainer, and I have some final touches to put on my party plannee's party plans. Argggh.

Be well, and be safe.

Love, Mims

Does My Butt Look as Big as Jessica Simpson's?

2009-02-15T16:14:00.009-06:00

Well, it's done. The wedding has been postponed until June.

Not only have I been concerned about William's commitment to our engagement, I have been worried about fitting into my wedding dress.

A wedding sets the tone for a whole marriage, I have been advised, and there is no way I want to get married while I am considered "full-figured." It just so happens that I am the same size as Jessica Simpson and look at all the bad press she is getting over her reported weight gain.

What would the society pages report?

I just can't take that risk. So much of my work is acquired by word of mouth that I cannot take a chance like that.

I have been very concerned politically. The economy seems to really be slipping into the abyss. It's a shame that Clinton started a ball rolling that Bush has had to take the fall for all these years. Reagan really turned us back on the right track as a nation and it gets really frustrating to have to sit back and watch Obama undo the progress that Bush was making again.

I just know stem cell research will be allowed any minute now. I have to tell you that I am starting to fear that the whole of society is about to unravel, what with the loose morals governing our country right now. Thank goodness the Republicans have a slight foot in the door still.

Public funding for abortions is back on the table. I just know that gun control and the death penalty are about to take a hit. I am really afraid that my Christian values are under attack.

On a more positive note, I am very excited that my friend Kim has offered to sponsor me for the Junior League! It has been a lifelong dream of mine to serve my community like that. The only thing is that she said I may have to subdue my judgementalism. I'm not really sure what she's talking about, but I think I'm becoming a member just in the nick of time.

Kim told me that last year The Junior League allowed a real lesbian to join the ranks. I think this definitely detracts from the whole mission of The Junior League. I've always thought of them as being a group of upstanding women who put others in the community first. If this woman cannot even put God first in her life, how can she be trusted to put other people first? I know it's just that no one has had the guts to speak up about this, and fend off the spreading of homosexuality that has become rampant here in California.

Well, I am feeling pretty good lately. Tomorrow is a big day. I am meeting with my trainer. He is going to help me drop 17 pounds before the wedding. There's a lot of work to do on so many fronts. I just hope God will bless me to look my best for it all. That's the most a woman can hope for, I suppose, that and a man of faith.

Love, Mims

I'm Not Sure How Much of this Stress I Can Take

2009-02-01T15:50:00.009-06:00

I have been too busy planning the party I am throwing for my clients in their new home to be blogging much lately, but in light of the past few days, I have been feeling more and more like I just have to get some of this off my chest. I am truly carrying too large of a load.

I know it's obvious that getting married is a lot of work, and I know that throwing parties is hard, but what is really giving me a hard time is William. Of course, I love him. We've been engaged for three years now, ever since he graduated from law school, but lately things have been changing. I'm starting to really question his commitment to our engagement.

The other night I cooked him dinner, as I do every Thursday night, and he brought a bottle of wine, and we settled in to watch some tv and snuggle on the couch. Nothing unusual. But, this time, when William and I began to kiss, I could not stop myself from rubbing up against him through my clothes.

I should have known he was up to something, the way he came into the kitchen while I was cooking, touching me and kissing on me. I just thought he wanted to ask me a favor, like he does when he wants me to make dinner for his boss and his wife.

He didn't seem to want anything, and he was being really sweet, and it really caught me off guard when he wasn't paying any attention to Bones, which we watch just religiously shy of blasphemously. I would almost swear he expected me to say yes to having sex with him. Now, I am feeling very confused.

When I leaned back on him to sit in our usual position, he started kissing my neck. It really was sweet, and then, as he started to nibble on my ear, I could feel that his penis was getting hard behind me. I lost myself for a bit and pushed myself back against him, feeling him get harder still, and he even started pulling me back to him. Now, that's about as far as we've ever gone, and I have been very clear with William that I feel uncomfortable letting things go too far like that and then having to nearly fight him off. That's why he agreed not to push me past my comfort zone.

So, when we started kissing and he turned to lay on top of me, it was because I nearly ruined my wool skirt by getting it wet from him grinding on me that I lifted my skirt. Without my noticing, William had opened his pants and I know he could feel how wet my panties were, even through his boxers... if his penis wasn't actually even sticking out of that little hole.

I was out of breath, and almost dizzy, when, fortunately, a Geico commercial came on the tv, breaking the trance.

While I am extremely disappointed in William for the episode, really questioning his commitment to our relationship, I am mostly disturbed by my own behavior. I mean, if we cannot wait just 54 more days to requite our love for eternal salvation, I am quite worried as to whether our relationship is healthy or not. I am certain that I am going to have to postpone the wedding again, and that is what I will do, before I call the whole thing off, and I am just not sure I can go through that a third time.

Well, I have a lot of work to do. I've got to show the maid all the work I need done and then I have to go buy a dress for William's and my Valentine's date next weekend.

I am really thankful I have this place to vent my stresses. They really are too overwhelming otherwise. Thank you.

Don't Hate Me Because I'm Dutiful

2009-01-24T06:44:00.010-06:00

I've been a busy bride-to-be. This is true. I am a concerned American, as I have no choice but to watch Barack Obama mangle the very moral fabric of America with the sweeping changes he has clearly been planning all along. This has been a tough time for me to not be blogging, but William has been deciding about how he feels about it, and I respect his choices.

I decided to tell William about my blogging, particularly since I mention him and our private matters here from time to time. I explained that it was my therapist's idea, and that I have been getting some relief from all the stress of getting married by writing about how I feel. But, I started to think that he may not be comfortable with that.

William has said that he doesn't believe in therapy, and has made it clear that he thinks it's a waste of money. Right now, it's my money being "wasted," but after we are married, he will have the say on how our money should be spent, and my therapy may not be able to continue. I informed him that blogging is free and that when we decide to have a baby and I will be staying home, it may be the case that I could make money putting ads on the site. Being the frugal business man that he is, he really didn't see the harm in that, as long as I don't put his last name here, something I would never dream of doing.

William did tell me that I need to apologize to Miranda for the things I wrote about her. He said Democrats are not the only ones concerned about transparency. He said that nothing is going on between him and her and that it's just my insecurities showing themselves. He said I need to work on that. It's true.

I am very saddended by the big step back Obama took for mothers and children in the past few days. Abortion only deprives babies of their lives and women of the glorious opportunity to become mothers. It really is a lose-lose all around, but liberals can't see that. It won't be long before our rights as citizens to have prisoners put to death, to carry guns, and to drive any car we choose are denied, and over that I have been seriously depressed.

Work is going well. My new Lexus is wonderful. The wedding planes are rolling right along. Before too long, I will post a wish list here, and I will want to make my hair appointment for my wedding day, so be sure to exercise your right to vote in my hair poll there in the sidebar.

I wish I had more to write today, but I don't. Also, I have a ton of William's shirts to iron, and he told me his partners are going to come over for dinner tonight, so I have to go to the store and do a lot of stuff to prepare, after I meet my client and have a therapy session.

Oh, and I'm going to have to stop by the liquor store. Miranda's coming as well, and I'm going to need some serious wine. I'll be sure to invite Jesus to ride along in my pocket, so I can hold his hand when the going gets rough.

I Think I Might Like This Blogging Thing After All

2009-01-11T18:08:00.003-06:00

Now that Stephen is working more hours and the boys are so terribly occupied with their own things, I find myself at loose ends. My sister is currently obsessed with redecorating her guest suite and just doesn't have time for me. She just redecorated three years ago. Oh, well. It makes her happy so I guess I should be happy for her, too.

Mother is on a long holiday in Europe so I don't want to bother her with long phone chats. My friends seem to be in hibernation mode. Tennis season hasn't started yet and I'm a bit bored with the same tired gossip at the Club.

In light of my loneliness, I've turned to the internet for something to do. And goodness me, there is plenty to learn out there. Recently, I noticed that two bloggers have been linking often to this blog. I was shocked to learn this. I didn't know that anyone was really paying much attention to Mimi and me.

Now these two women - Freida Bee and Lisa (she used to call herself DCup - how crass!) - aren't really the types of women that I would know in my real world, but I must admit, I find them funny, if irreverant, and pretty smart. I disagree wholeheartedly with their politics and I hope to heaven that they are actually joking about the way they parent their children, but there's something about their style that intrigues me.

Maybe it's because they are so unlike the women I know in my real life that I find them appealing somehow. They don't seem to be afraid to speak their minds and sometimes I really, really, really wish I could be like that.

I read this post at Lisa's blog. Freida Bee made a funny comment and so I went to see what she had on her blog today. Holy smokes! This post was too much! I know they mean to be funny and it is funny, but you have to wonder if some of the things on the list below wouldn't somehow work. Heck, I might consider trying them with Stephen so that he would spend more nights at home. See for yourself....

From Freida Bee:

Inspired by Lisa's post, and the great comments which followed, she and I have created a list of our own. In the spirit of feminism, this is a list by women for women. (Of course, men, you can use this list to gauge how satisfied you should be with your woman.)

25 Ways to Coddle Your Man (and Earn his Appreciation):

1. When your man spends six hours grilling meat for dinner (that you make the sides for, set the table for, and clean up after) be sure to thank him for making dinner by rewarding him later with a blow job (with a little barbecue sauce on the side, of course).

2. Never poop, never indicate that you poop, take great pains to cover up the fact that you produce and expel solid waste, even if it means you have to leave the house to go to a public place to do your business when he is at home. (Alternately, you could break something on purpose, so he must go to Home Depot, and then you can poo while he's away.)

3. Hide all feminine hygiene products, both used and unused. Make sure to double wrap any used products and take the further step of burying them deeply in the trash, so he won’t accidentally see them when he empties the trash.

4. There is no question that a woman must douche, preferably twice, after having her period. Nothing good will come of reminding him that you have bodily functions.

5. After having children, consider vaginal rejuvenation.

6. Make him feel like you're new again by occasionally purchasing and using the artificial hymen. If he's squeamish about blood, you may want to do this only in the dark. Don't forget to make the appropriate “first time” sounds.

7. Be sure to use the "skills" other men have taught you, taking special care not to mention where you might have learned them.

8. Don't expect him to read your mind. The onus is on you to leave clues and drop hints so that he knows what you want. By no means, state it directly. No matter how much he asks for it, don't tell him directly.

9. Be sure to leave the toilet seat up. Why should he have to lift the seat? You're the one who sits on it.

10. If you really want to know what your man wants sexually, snooping is required. You should check his computer's recent history and search his porn stash. He'll thank you later.

11. When faking orgasm, be sure to call out his name, not the name of your last boyfriend. (Using a foreign accent is a bonus!)

12. You'll know your man is satisfied when you hear him snoring softly. Before that, there's no way to be sure.

13. When your man goes to sleep right after sex, be sure to tell him that you are pleased by this, because it shows that you've done a good job.

14. When dressing for an evening out with him and his friends, it's important to dress in a revealing way, so that his friends will envy him for getting to sleep with you. Just let him decide what is too revealing.

15. If you want to cuddle, buy yourself a stuffed animal or a dog. Cats may be nice to have around, but they like cuddling almost as much as men do.

16. Never use the following words: snuggle, cuddle, tampon, period, vagina, baby, or marriage.

17. Never criticize his mother. She was his first love, after all. And never question her judgment.

18. When your husband has his buddies over to watch sports, dress nicely to make him proud. He will reward you in his own way, for such an obvious show of affection.

19. Please ladies, when your man is “in the mood” avoid mundane topics, like bills, children, work, or your emotional needs, for instance. After he wakes up, he will be far more receptive to (and perceptive of) your indicative clues.

20. “Not being in the mood” is no excuse. Period.

21. Men love massages after a hard day at work. Enough said.

22. Listening to your girlfriends will get you in trouble. They want more of your time too, and they are no doubt jealous that you’ve landed a man. Besides his mother, there is no woman whose advice you can trust when it comes to your man.

23. Let him pick the restaurant. You get to select what he eats every other evening, since you go to the grocery store and make dinner. You need to avoid being overbearing, at all costs, and this is a great way to show your flexibility. (Letting him choose your entrè as well may be the perfect recipe for getting yourself a mouth-watering dessert!)

24. If you’re not attached, this list may be painful to read, as you’ve no doubt got a lot of love to give. Try spending a game day at a sports bar to land yourself a great catch!

25. Lastly, and not leastly, when you’ve got a man who will put up with you, NEVER LET HIM GO!

I guess the moral of this post is to tell you that you might find the strangest things on the internet, but you can also find useful things. Like that list. And the recipe for cornish game hens I just found. Oh, and then there's online shopping.......

I Love it When The Lord Points the Way!

2009-01-09T18:02:00.023-06:00

If there's one thing I know, it's that The Lord sent me here to help others. I know I mentioned that I was going to surprise William by cleaning his apartment for him. While he does have a house cleaner come in every two weeks, there is no way a man can pay for a woman's touch, particularly when it comes to his personal space.

I've been so busy this past week, getting back to work, that I haven't even had time to talk to William (or blog) about the disturbing things I found at his place when I was cleaning. I know that he and I are going to have to straighten out a few things before we tie the knot.

Firstly, but not most disturbingly, I was very upset that William had a stack of pornographic magazines under his bed. I know he is a man, but I've made a virginity pledge, and while I understand, without question, that he will not be having actual intercourse, he and I need to talk about masturbation. I made an appointment for us to go talk with Father Grisham about this problem. I am under the impression that masturbation would violate a chastity pledge, but I was surprised when William informed me that blow jobs are not a violation of said pledge..., not that I'd ever do that. I suppose that is saving a lot of folks from damnation, which is darned generous of The Lord, I'd say.

But, that is nothing compared to the other thing I found, or rather didn't find when I was surprising William by cleaning his apartment. I searched high and low, up and down, in drawers, in closets, even in his attic, and did not find a single Bible anywhere. While I was only starting to get concerned about this, assuming he did the most logical thing... take it with him to Dallas, I became over-the-top concerned when I saw in the things he took with him to Dallas, that was not the case.

I've been praying on this matter all week, and am starting to think that William's commitment to his faith may only be lip service. I know that things like this change as people mature, and that nothing will mature William (and myself, perhaps) more than marriage, but for a few hours yesterday, I had my doubts.

Fortunately, The Lord provides, and when I watched Joel Osteen last night, I was reminded that prosperity comes to the faithful. My path is not to take the easy way. My path is to take God's way, and as frustrating as that may be at times, it was helpful for me to remember that the ends justify the means.

William has already told me that he is opposed to having counseling sessions with Father Grisham, that counseling is unnecessary and way over-used. But, I am grateful that The Lord has paved a path for me to use the pornography fiasco to broach the subject of William's faith with the two of us and Father Grisham present, whatever it is called (wink, wink).

Clearly, he is confused and it will, all too soon, be my job as his wife to be his moral compass. I think this is the Lord's way of preparing William and I for marriage.

I am still a little scared that our wedding is only 95 days away. From what I saw in all of those awful magazines that William had, I am going to have to lose some serious weight to be attractive and am going to have to schedule myself a little waxing appointment as well. Who knew women did such things to themselves? I am thinking about having a cross made in my area "down there" especially for our wedding night. I know that would be a lovely wedding gift for William.

The Lord work in mysterious ways, wouldn't you say?

Meet Lexie!!

2009-01-05T09:29:00.011-06:00

Oh, I was away for longer than I intended. After the holidays, William told me his mother had an emergency and he had to go back to Dallas on Friday. He said that since his mother has high blood pressure and takes a variety of anti-anxiety drugs, Dr.s did not want to take any chances with the health of a woman of her stature. It seemed that she may have had a heart attack, but they weren't sure. They had to run some tests. Then, all day Saturday he didn't get in touch with me and I was fretting like crazy. He usually calls me every few hours, so I was worried indeed.

I was really hurt that William did not want me to accompany him in the first place, but he was adamant that his mother, even though she was sedated, would not want me to be bothered. Though I thought William would be happier with me there, I acquiesced, mainly because I had an initial consultation with a major client. This time, she's going to remodel her kitchen and then sell her house in Malibu in favor of a wonderful catch on Rodeo Drive. My job will be to take care of all of the details for her, the most challenging, but rewarding of which will be planning a housewarming party in her new home. I'm rather glad I didn't have to postpone our initial consultation, selfish as it may be. (And, I got the job, by the way.)

So, I didn't hear from him at all on Saturday. I'd even called the hospitals, with no indication at all of where he might be. All of that made it all the more surprising when William showed up Sunday with my Christmas present which he apologized profusely was held up at the dealership when a model without seat warmers was presented to him when he was in Dallas on Christmas Eve. When he'd returned between Christmas and New Years, I noticed he was acting a little distant, and this certainly explains it. He gave me a Rolex, but I could tell his heart wasn't in it. He told me yesterday that this is why.

Yesterday afternoon, I heard a knock on my door, opened it, and no one was there, but Lexie was sitting there all on her lonesome. The bow gave it away! William snapped this photo just as I was putting two and two together. I just couldn't be more thrilled. He said he was driving up from Dallas Saturday and Sunday and had left his cell phone in Dallas. The story about his mother was just a cover. That's why I couldn't find what name his mother was registered under at the hospital. She was in on it too! And, I thought she didn't like me all this time. I should have known better.

In the end, I would have been a little frustrated if I were him. The dealership that sent the actual SUV I ended up with was transferred all the way down there from here in Malibu according to the license plate cover. Some people are so wasteful.

I just love it, though!! It makes my Lexus sedan seem so small. It will be great for transporting party supplies for my work, which means William can write it off as a business expense when we file our taxes together as married next year, as long as I keep both, which I made clear I'm willing to do. It's actually for the best that he didn't get it until the new year, I pointed out to him. I think he was relieved there was a silver lining, as he seemed to relax as I reassured him.

All's well that ends well.

Be well!

-Mims

A Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T22:00:00.010-06:00

I don't know about you, but I think that despite the political tone this year promises to take on, this is going to be a really great year. As people are starting to adjust to the economic failings caused by Obama's being elected, they are starting to see that Obama's all talk... for a while. Of course, eventually, all the socialism will really start to settle in, but for a while, probably through the year, Bush's policies will linger. Fortunately, Obama's promised "Change" will likely be something that cannot override the lasting differences Bush has made, for some time, if ever.

So, I'm feeling fairly optimistic. My wedding is only a little over 100 days away and I am starting to get really excited. William's promised he won't postpone the date again, and our plans for April are starting to solidify. My dress is being custom made, the menu's ready, the flowers are ordered, the minister's booked. I've got my artificial hymen ordered now. I've even ordered a couple back-ups in the case William and I don't have sex on our wedding night for some reason, or in the case where he's blacked out and doesn't remember our first time. Just like I know him to be from his fraternity days, he's quite the good ol' boy, still. I know that will be different once we're married, though. He's said he's probably going to even give up drinking altogether once we're married. I've been praying on that, but even just not getting so drunk he embarrasses me from time to time would be fine.

Last night was New Year's Eve and he embarrassed me then, but I know he meant well. We went to the party his partner was throwing and, of course, Miss Thong herself, Miranda, was there. That woman just has no taste. William had had one to many and made a toast to her for all her "help" around the office, but I know, from how those men talk about her behind her back, that they don't respect her whatsoever. William insinuated in his toast that they may hire Miranda on when she passes the bar this spring. Though I know he was just being polite, given the fact that I told him I was not comfortable with that whatsoever, it still put me in a tight spot. I had to congratulate her, and then her "fiancé" asked William and me if we wanted to go out for dinner sometime and he was so drunk, he said, "Yes." I was not at all happy about this.

I was so upset that I asked William if we could leave early, but he said, since it was not yet midnight, that he did not want to, and I ended up taking a cab home by myself. I am really looking forward to when we are finally married and won't have to deal with all the complications involved with dating.

Well, I have a big day of work ahead of me tomorrow and must get to sleep.

-Mimi

What Are Your New Year's Resolutions?

2008-12-29T12:45:00.007-06:00

Well, it's that time of year, the time when we examine our lives and ask God how He would have us improve our lives that we might be of better service to Him. I know an easy one for me is to re-affirm my commitment to not miss church a single week. I think this year I'll add an Adult Sunday School class, and re-reading the Bible. I bought myself the One Year Bible this year, so that should make things easier. I'll have to work this week on adjusting our honeymoon and wedding plans to accommodate my not missing church. I think some advanced research into some churches in the Virgin Islands may do the trick.

Speaking of virginity and my wedding, I am so excited that one of our faithful readers offered up this solution to my wedding night hymen dilemma, the artificial hymen. I was considering having my hymen reconstructed, afraid that William would be able to tell on our wedding night that I am not a true virgin, but this device seems the perfect solution the Lord has sent my way to keep my wedding night holy.

My other resolutions involve treating my body like a temple, volunteering to help those who do not have the advantages I have, and working to lay the way for Sarah Palin to be the next president so that we can get our nation back on the right track the way Bush has tried, the way Obama will no doubt undo. I will find a way to volunteer at my church with the other women there, to get a woman of faith in the Oval Office. Don't forget to pray for her daughter who is about to give birth also. Pray for her and this baby's salvation. They are at risk- for obvious reasons.

I will be researching the ways I can help others before my New Year's Day deadline and I will first thing after I get off of here call and schedule my hair, nail, facial, massage, and fitness training sessions for the entire year. I feel like I'm leaving something out. I'll have to consult my palm pilot.

I implore you to make a resolution to live a better life this next year. If you have strayed from your faith, it is never to late until the judgement day, which will come like a thief in the night- so don't delay, to be born again in Jesus Christ. Also, it is our job to save the millions of people who didn't have the privilege to be born Christian by convincing them of our righteousness. Those poor, unholy people will be going to Hell on judgement day, no doubt, without my help.

Maybe next year, WIlliam could take a religious sabbatical from his law firm and we could go be missionaries in some disadvantaged pagan country. Maybe I'll even surprise William for his birthday in March by making all the arrangements for us both in advance. Surely God would bless my marriage greatly for such a good deed.

Happy New Year and God Bless!

Protecting Her

2008-12-26T19:29:00.000-06:00

Tonight I continued my habit of lying to my mother in law. I know she sees right through me and I don't care. This lie, this charade that I maintain, I maintain for her. The truth would hurt her terribly.

We were alone in her dressing room. I was helping her put on her favorite Christmas necklace when she looked right at me in the mirror and asked me about Tad, my oldest son. There are unpleasant stories going around about him. Astrid had heard the worst of the stories. Who would share stories like that with a woman of Astrid's age and standing in the community? Someone with a wicked and cruel streak, I suppose.

You see, my son Tad is mixed up in some sex party rumor. I don't believe that a bunch of high schoolers would do something like that, but I could tell Astrid was very worried. She doesn't trust people to not believe that kind of nonsense and I guess I can't blame her for her cynicism. She's known her share of pain, having lived in this community her whole life. She knows what it's like to have scurrilous stories spread about her loved ones. She is very good at holding her head high and carrying on in the face of such ugliness. Astrid is a true model of virtue and strength.

Which makes me feel even more a failure as I lie to her and lie to her son, my husband Stephen. And I lie to myself. Who do I think I'm fooling with my denials? I know the truth. Stephen knows the truth. Astrid knows the truth. Even though he is in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease, Stephen Senior knows the truth.

I am a failure as a mother.

I have lost control of my boys. I must face that fact that most of the parenting has fallen to me as Stephen has pursued his career. This is the deal we made. He is a doctor and that takes a very large amount of his time. He helps people. My job is to raise the boys and run the household. It should be a simple enough job and still I feel as if I have failed. Each time the boys mess up, it's a reflection on the hideous job I've done with them.

I've had every advantage and still I have not lived up to the job. When I look at women who work and can still be good mothers, I wonder what is wrong with me?

It was so much easier when the boys were little. They thought I was the world. If only I could have kept them in that perfect bubble of mommy and me time, story time at the library, church camps, summers at the club pool, riding lessons and tennis. I thought we were doing the right thing by enrolling them in the Christian Academy. I thought that would buffer them from the more base elements of society.

Like in so many things, I was wrong. And I am left lying to all of us to cover up my failures. I can't add to Astrid's pain. I must talk to Stephen about this if and when he comes home tonight. It's now the day after Christmas and I fear that he will be out quite late doing things I don't want to think about.

For now, I think I'll try out that new bottle of Grey Goose that Stephen brought home from his softball team's party. These problems aren't going away so I don't have to deal with them tonight. Alone. Do I?

The Lord Blesses Good Parents with Well-Behaved Children

2008-12-24T09:55:00.007-06:00

Thank goodness I have this private place to unload all the stress of the holiday season. It's all starting to get to me, but I know that just means I have to buck up and try harder to put a smile on my face.

I am so sick of seeing bad parents at the mall. If I see another woman talk to her child as though it is an adult, I'm going to puke. I see these kids and their parents negotiating and it really makes me scared for the future of America. It's just time for a good olde-fashioned spanking, lady. You are the boss. These children will grow up with no proper sense of authority. No wonder police violence is on the rise. People seem to be unwilling to do what it takes to have a civil society. Obey.

I'm pretty sure that "alternative" parenting is the root cause of the problem. People just want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be able to enjoy the fruits of marriage without paying the dues. Of course, it's easier to talk to other women and they are more beautiful than men. That doesn't mean that I should be allowed to fall in love with one, have sex with her, live with her and raise a child that way. The erosion of marriage is well under way.

I was hoping that Sarah Palin would get elected for this very reason. Maybe in the next few years people will see the mistake they've made, but I doubt it. The adjusting of the morals of America suits the desires of too many people and before long, under Obama, the U.S. will be like France and Canada. Do you know I have heard that it is easier to get a sex-change operation than a heart valve replacement in Canada? A woman I met waiting in a line at Dillards who works in a hospital told me that.

Well, I know this is short, but it is time for me to go spread some holiday cheer, pick up a new dress for the Christmas Eve service tonight and remember what Christmas is really all about, virgin women being blessed for their purity with good children.

Let's Put the "Christ" Back in Christmas!

2008-12-20T15:40:00.013-06:00

What a week! Christmas is around the corner, yet I feel so alone. It didn't help that we had so many people over to visit this week. Where did they all go?

William just told me today that he is going to visit his parents in Dallas for Christmas... WITHOUT ME! I am so hurt and upset and wondering what Dr. Laura would have to say about this.

He told me that because we are getting married in April, his mother wanted him to come up by himself, since it would be the last time he would ever see her without me there. I'm sorry, but I have never heard anything more ridiculous in my life! That woman is just a.... Oh, thank you Lord for catching my "tongue." But really!

Of course, I am not at all interested in going anywhere I am not welcome, but there is seriously something wrong with that woman. How could she want to deprive her son of spending Christmas with the love of his life? William and I visited her for a week last year and I thought she and I got along swimmingly. I think that's what's bothering me. She and I went to The Galleria the day after Christmas and I visited her church that Sunday. William had just proposed to me earlier that month and we suprised her with the news. I am starting to think she didn't even appreciate my treating her to a spa day with me so that we could do some mother and daughter bonding.

Ohhh. I just realized what I will do. I was going to send that picture of William and me, but I am going send my favorite Miss Manners's book and Dr. Laura's latest book to her, as well. I think they would be very helpful to her. Oh yes, that's what I'll do. Oh good. I was starting to lose my Christmas spirit. It's such a blessing the way that just putting myself in the position to be helping others always cheers me up!

Maybe I can see the silver lining in all this. Maybe I should help serve Christmas dinner to those men that eat over at the Salvation Army Christmas Day. I know some of them are drunk or just too lazy to cook for themselves and go there to freeload, but most of them are just disadvantaged and don't have anyone who cares about them like I do.

In fact, I'm going to go over to Super Wal-Mart and pick up supplies to make as many cookies as I can. That's what they need. A little holiday cheer. You know, while I'm at it, maybe this is the perfect opportunity for me to surprise William while he's gone by going over and cleaning his apartment for him. It really needs a woman's touch! While I'm at Wal-Mart, I'll pick up some cleaning supplies. Maybe I'll even stop over at Neimann's and pick him up some new curtains. Those ones his grandmother made him a million years ago are so dingy and out of date.

Oh, this is exciting. Mimi, put on your happy face and feel good about yourself that you aren't letting William's mother ruin Christmas for you. There will be plenty of years for that in the future. Way to remember to put the "Christ" back in Christmas!

+++++++++

My Purpose and Other Questions

2008-12-18T12:05:00.004-06:00

I've been busy wrapping Christmas gifts today. I have the television on in the background and I'm astounded at what I'm hearing. Apparently, Barack Obama has invited Pastor Rick Warren to deliver an invocation at his inauguration in January. And this upsets people!

What is wrong with people? Rick Warren is a Pastor who has encouraged us to live a purpose driven life. What could people possibly find wrong with that?

Which reminds me: When we were studying The Purpose Driven Life in adult study at our church, I had so many moments where I was forced to examine the emptiness of my life. I don't mean that to sound harsh or whiny. What I mean is that even though I am busy with activities - my children, my husband, tennis, the book club, etc - I feel a certain emptiness at my core. I tried to speak to our minister about it, but I lost my nerve. What would Stephen think if he found out I felt this way?

One afternoon, I was reading the book. I paused and thought about my life. I pictured my beautiful boys and felt the pangs of realization that they will eventually grow up and have lives of their own. And then what? That question haunts me.

Can I make a life out of being a doctor's wife? What am I really doing here? How many times can I redecorate? How many books can I read and discuss with other women who are probably feeling just as empty as I feel? How many lunches at the club, how many attempts to improve my backhand?

How would I even go about finding a way to do meaningful things? And do I really want the responsibility of doing meaningful things?

Maybe I'll reread Pastor Warren's book. This time, I'll be more aware, more observant, more ready to absorb the lessons. I just pulled the book from the shelf and flipped it open. Here's a quote:

The purpose of your life is far greater than your own personal fulfillment, your peace of mind, or even your happiness. It's far greater than your family, your career, or even your wildest dreams and ambitions. If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by his purpose and for his purpose. -- P.17

I think I have a long way to go before I can really understand what God's plan is for me. If I were to ask Stephen, he would grumble at me. My mother would tell me that it's not for me to know what God's plan is for me and my best friend Wynelle would tell me that I'm being too serious again.

I guess I'll just get busy re-reading the book. This time I'll take notes. I can start one of those journals again.

And those people who don't like Pastor Warren being part of the inauguration can just shut up. What a bunch of haters they are. If someone like me can find a vision from his work, he must not be all bad.

I need to finish wrapping gifts now before I have to meet Stephen at a cocktail party in Marietta. I wonder if they'll have Patron. I'm in a tequila mood after all that deep thinking.

----

Not a Holiday Newsletter

2008-12-14T19:05:00.005-06:00

I spent the better part of this afternoon struggling with our family newsletter. The last couple of years, I've neglected to do one until after the holidays, which Stephen has mentioned is "so very cutely Mags." But this year, I'm really trying to get and stay organized so that I can wrap up this task before Christmas. Things are frenzied enough. I don't need this hanging over my head.

And I hate it when Stephen says somethis is "so very cutely Mags." I know that he means something not as sweet as that sounds. It's the verbal equivalent of patting me on the head as if I am a child.

So I've sat here at my beautiful antique rosewood desk with my fingers poised over the laptop and ........ nothing. I can't think of what to say to our friends, family and Stephen's colleagues.

Should I tell them that we're worried that our oldest son Tad isn't going to be admitted into his first, second or third choice colleges because his grades aren't what they should be? How do I sugar coat that fact that Brock, our monkey in the middle, was just picked up at the local mall for shoplifting? Do I just slip in a little line about how pleased I was to learn from one of my tennis team mates that Stephen is back to his little indiscretions with the pharmaceutical saleswoman? The only shining light in this year's long, grueling trek through problems, issues and crises has been our youngest son Davison. And even he is causing us some minor worries with his new fascination with online gaming.

I know that I shouldn't write these things here and will most certainly not write them in our family newsletter, but it really does feel good to get them off my chest. I carry these secrets with me everywhere and they are like heavy stones in my pockets. I don't have many opportunities to set them aside. Goodness knows Stephen doesn't want to deal with them. And I can't tell anyone about them because, well, what would they think? They would think that I am a failure as both a wife and mother. That much is obvious.

It's now an hour later and I've still made no progress on the holidy newsletter. I tried to phone Stephen, but he's not answering his cell. Well, that's typical of him, isn't it? The boys are at the Club with Stephen's parents this afternoon so at least I don't have to worry about them. Stephen Senior and Astrid will certainly keep them in check. I did notice, however, that Astrid seemed distant when I mentioned the family holiday affair at Stephen's brother's house. I think Astrid is worried about Stephen Senior wanting to drive all the way up to Lake Lanier. He's just not that steady behind the wheel these days. I guess I shouldn't have brought it up in front of him. She'll probably hold a grudge against me through the entire holiday.

Now I'm just frittering away time here on this blog because I'm getting a bad attitude about this newsletter. You know what? Forget the newsletter. Who cares to read that my tennis team won its championship? Will anyone's holiday be ruined if they don't know about the opening of Stephen's new office? Isn't the lovely photo of us on our Aspen ski trip enough? We look happy in that photo. That should be enough.

As long as we look happy, no one will know any different. And that's really all that matters, isn't it?

All I Can Do is Pray for Selfish Women

2008-12-12T23:05:00.016-06:00

I work part-time as a consultant. It sounds glamorous, I know, but it's a lot of hard work. When people don't know what they want, it's up to me to decide for them. It's a lot of responsibility, and they pay a pretty penny for my services. So, Thursday, when Janell sought my advice, I was really hurt by her decision not to take it. I promised her I would keep the matter private, so I'm not going to tell anyone. But, I do need to write about it. It really has me concerned.

I know I mentioned that I was going to drive her home from an appointment to see her gyno Thursday. Who wants to drive after an experience like that? Some people do, I guess, because I saw several women by themselves in the waiting room. Anyway, Janell had to go to the gynecologist because she thought she might be pregnant.

I'll just put it out there that I have mixed feelings about when I should get pregnant. I know it would be ideal if I were to get pregnant on my wedding night, from a religious perspective, but I'm not sure I am wholeheartedly ready to stop working and be home all the time. I feel bad, because I know that's very selfish of me.

All this makes it very challenging for me to want to be supportive of Janell. She's not even married and she's having sex. I recommended that she reclaim her virginity and take her salvation back into her own hands. She said that though she was surprised that she might be pregnant because she had that birth control shot, she did not intend to cease having sex with her boyfriend, even after this scare, and I just couldn't hear anything else she said. It is hard, because though I have known Janell for 20+ years, I can only see her as a murderer now. It is fortunate for the baby she almost had out of wedlock that she wasn't actually pregnant. It seems that when you do such unholy things to your body, God punishes you. She said the nurse told her that going without her menstrual cycle after having that shot is not uncommon. I just don't know how some women can treat themselves so poorly.

It made me so stressed out to think about Janell that I had to take off work yesterday and have a spa morning to get my mind off my problems. I got a chemical peel and my first botox injections, and I just felt great. I went shopping in the afternoon and every time I caught a glimpse of myself in a passing mirror, I could see how beautiful I looked. I think William picked up on my outer glow and couldn't see my inner pain about Janell when we went to his office Christmas party last night, me in my new dress. It made me so glad I took the time to get my priorities straight.

Miranda was there, of course, and I just felt sorry for her. She was there with a guy she claimed is her fiancè, but it was obvious she'd only asked her gay friend to pretend. That man was impeccably dressed and even spoke of his feelings. How stupid does she think people are? I didn't say anything, but it just confirmed my suspicions about how low she is willing to stoop to steal William away from me. It really wouldn't have bothered me so much except for the fact that WIlliam fell for it hook, line and sinker.

I was very upset about this and was worried that the stress would undo my chemical peel, by making me furrow my brow, so I just took a little time on the balcony to say a prayer asking God to help William figure out Miranda's ploy. I felt better after that knowing that the matter is in God's hands. I'll just keep my eyes open for opportunities to be an agent of his will. That really is all I can do, isn't it?

Well, I have a busy day planned. I'm meeting with the wedding planner and have a dress fitting before I have to meet with the store manager at Nordstroms about my gift registry. Lord, help me be an instrument of thine peace.

Sometimes I Can't Help But Think

2008-12-10T22:06:00.011-06:00

As you know by now, I am not one to gossip. Nor, am I one to complain, but I have been known to worry a time or two. There is so much to worry about these days, my wedding decor, my future marriage, that whore in the thong, what to get my housekeepers for Christmas, though I really liked the comment from one of our smart readers suggesting that I have them buy gifts for each other. It's so simple. It's brilliant. What would a working-class person want, or even need? How should I know? They can buy each other gifts on my behalf. There is one holiday worry allayed.

Politics have me worried. Obama was trying to sell his Senate seat? Have Democrats not ever heard of discretion? They simply cannot keep secrets. Look at the election race. Did anyone see Sarah Palin as the likely VP pick? No. Republicans know how to keep secrets. Being able to keep a secret is a virtue. I think sometimes people forget that. Take me, for example. I am going to wear a white dress at my wedding. While I have reclaimed my virginity, I am not medically a virgin. But, does the world need to know that? All they know is that I made a vow of chastity in the company of my church family, not what James and I did throughout our senior year of high school and first two years of college. I'm pretty sure if I just pretend I've never seen a penis and act like sex hurts, then William will believe that I am a virgin on our wedding night. That's been kind of bothering me. I was so drunk when I lost my virginity the first time, I don't very well recall what it was like. I'm pretty sure I can keep our wedding night special, but the pressure is hard.

I'm pretty tired tonight. I'm supposed to go early with Janell to her gynecologist's office. She doesn't like to drive herself home after one of those exams.

I don't know what she's saying, but this video really made me think.

A Real Trip

2008-12-09T10:20:00.000-06:00

Every year in early December my girlfriends and I go to Chicago to shop for the holidays. This year we stayed at the Conrad next to Nordstroms. We had a wonderful time, of course, but there were a few moments that made me wonder if I really know these women as well as I thought I did.

At first, we were all on our best behavior because we were getting reaquainted over cocktails in Stefanie and Laura's room. Since we get together only four times a year, there's plenty of catching up to do. It didn't take too many appletinis, however, to loosen tongues. That's when some things started to leak out and and I found myself wondering just how many secrets this group of friends had hidden.

Laura confessed that she'd crossed party lines and voted for Hillary in the primary election. She explained that she did it because she thought who ever the Republican nominee was would be able to beat Hillary, but not Obama. I could understand this, of course, because Laura was always more politically aware than the rest of us. She dated the President of our college's Young Republicans, after all.

Later, though, I heard her tell Jane that she'd voted for Bob Barr because she couldn't stand Governor Palin. This really shocked me! I wanted to ask how she could do such a thing, but since I was evesdropping, it didn't seem right. That didn't stop Julia, though. She'd apparently heard th conversation, too. She got very angry with Laura and said some ugly things that I won't repeat here. I do know, however, that Julia LOVES Governor Palin. She told me that she has a Sarah! bumper sticker on her Yukon. It's right next to the Drill Here, Drill Now bumper sticker she encouraged each of us go put on our vehicles.

The next day, as we walked from the Coach store to the Hermes boutique, we passed by a couple of young women. One of them was obviously pregnant even though she didn't look a day over fifteen. After we passed them, Julia snorted and said something about pregnant teenagers. Laura jumped on her, saying something nasty about Governor Palin's pregnant daughter.

"Thats' different!" Julia hissed through clenched teeth. We'd entered the Hermes shop and she didn't want to make a scene. I'm going to have to email her and find out if she and Laura ever made up because after that, Julia made some unflattering remarks about Laura's taste in scarves and suggested that a Hermes scarf might not be the right gift for Laura's housekeeper.

Laura left angrily and Jane and Stefanie followed her out. Deborah and I stayed with Julia and picked up some silk lovelies. I was there to get something for Stephen's office manager. Mission accomplished!

When we left with our goodies, we decided to pop over to Nordstrom's makeup counter to see if we could get some new makeup applied before dinner. I happened to notice as we passed the Sephora that Jane, Laura and Stefanie were inside. I didn't mention it to either Julia or Deborah, but it made me wonder. If they're in Sephora, does that mean they're watching their pennies? I'd heard through the alumni grapevine that Jane's husband Robert was thinking about selling his business if his taxes were raised by the Democrats. Maybe money is tight for them right now.

We had drinks before dinner and I noticed that Laura was unusually quiet. Julia dominated the conversation as usual. She told us about the private McCain fundraiser she'd attended and regaled us with stories about her conversations with Lindsey Graham and Cindy McCain. Her husband is a big contributor to their state's governor and Republican Senator, so she has the connections with political types. I think this makes Laura jealous because her husband's family has lost some of their standing since his sister married that guy we don't discuss, but we all know about.

You know, we've always suspected that Laura is a closet liberal. I don't care if she did date the President of our college's Young Republicans. She's always had a bit of a liberal streak to her thinking. In fact, I wonder if she really voted for Bob Barr. Maybe she voted for Obama.

Anyway, we tried to enjoy the rest of our trip. The food was fabulous and the shopping was wonderful. But somehow things didn't seem the same. As we took a cab back to O'Hare Airport, Deborah and I discussed it. She wondered if it isn't the general unhappiness in our country right now. So many people are so upset about the Democrats being in control.

I kind of agreed with Deborah, but I also couldn't help but wonder if here was something else. Don't get me wrong - I think it's wonderful that we've been able to stay friends since leaving school back in 1989, but I think we're all changing. I think there are many things about each of them that the rest of us don't know. I know there are things about me that might surprise them. I haven't changed drastically, but I have changed. I guess I worry that if they knew some of the new things about me, they might not love me as much as they once did.

But who knows? Maybe the way they have changed is just as........I can't find the right word here......different from the way they thought they'd be at age of forty three. Different. I guess that's the word.

Here's the Thong Thing

2008-12-06T20:14:00.011-06:00

Well, I am very worried that this is becoming a political blog. I really couldn't handle all the attention political blogs attract. Not now. Not with my wedding coming up in only 129 days. I need to keep it light, which is not easy with all that has been going on. Though there are always problems with William's sister and her children and my mother-in-law to be and Mother are at each other's throats about the wedding menu, those are not the things bothering me most right now.

The thing getting to me right now is William. Actually, it is not really William; it is his intern, Miranda, that is starting to disturb me. I met her yesterday and I saw the way she looks at him and I am starting to think that she is a money-grubbing whore who's after my man. Firstly, she calls him Will, which is far too informal for a work environment. He is her boss.

I am concerned that William, just being a man, will not be able to help himself when she throws herself at him, as she inevitably will. He's been really wanting to have sex lately, but he knows how important it is, ever since I reclaimed my virginity and made my chastity vow, to wait until our wedding night to have sex. I mean, he was there that day when I made that vow with Father Grisham in front of the congregation.

What's really bothering me, I think, is the way William won't take the vow himself, as well. It's not like he's going to be having sex before his wedding night anyway, so I think we should be doing this together, for the sake of our future marriage and children. I'm just wondering if his unwillingness to take the vow has anything to do with Miranda.

I can tell she's not a virgin. When she bent down to pick up that box of papers yesterday, her thong showed out of the top of her slacks. That is such a trashy look. I'm not sure why women wear thongs with low pants. Have they not seen how other women's thongs show? I don't know why some women think men like that. I know for a fact William doesn't, but, like I said, it's not him I'm worried about. Miranda's just the kind of woman that makes things harder for herself and before you know it, she's lost all her self-respect.

I tried one of those on once and it felt like I had my underwear going up my butt, something I'd tried all my life to avoid. It really was a disgusting feeling. The next thing she knows, Miranda will be having sex with William and he would never marry her and then she would just get her heart broken... all because of that thong. I'm just trying to do her a favor. Oh, here is a video. She's just like this.

The Office Thong
(Do you think I should get a thong for William...?)

Mimi

Why Do People Just Like Making Things Hard?

2008-12-03T16:50:00.015-06:00

One of the main tenets of this website, we hope you've noticed, is feminism. While I think feminism is important, let me just clarify.... I am not a feminist. I understand the difference is as subtle as the distinction some would make between gender and a person's God-given sexual orientation, but I think it is worth focusing on.

Some people seem to imply that, as a conservative woman, I am not for a woman's right to make her own reproductive choices, but that is simply not true. Abortion is murder and I think that those who murder should get the death penalty, plain and simple. What some people also seem to have issue with is my being against paying for some poor welfare slut to not get pregnant having sex. Sure, I don't think she should get pregnant, but can't she just bum for some change at the street corner like the rest of the hookers do? If her client looses his erection, well, then, maybe I just did him a favor and he won't bring crabs home to his fiancè this time. Also, if teenaged girls are stupid enough to have sex before getting married, well, then, I think they deserve to have their boyfriends leave them for better not-pregnant girls, nice girls that go to church. Abortions in the case of rape are tricky, but I think that the media has skewed the public's perception of rape and 99% of the time women can not be raped if they want to. That 1% who could, or the 1% of those wrongly put to death by the death penalty, well, they are the cost of democracy. It's all about being at the right place at the right time, which reminds me of what I wanted to say.

Today, I couldn't believe it. I ordered a sandwich for lunch to be delivered to my office and the delivery boy was so late that I decided not to give him a tip. When I told him that I was going to call his manager and tell him what a poor worker he was, he announced that he was a she. Seriously, I couldn't see it and I told him that I didn't believe him. He was so rude to me. He told me to fuck off and took a bite of my sandwich right there in front of me. I couldn't believe it. And, then he left. I can tell you that I will never order food from that establishment again. I know he could probably spit or even jack-off into my food and I could never eat again. If, by some small chance, he was a woman, then I think maybe I taught her a lesson and she will not be so lazy as to not put on some lipstick next time she gets ready for work. That's why I am all for feminism, but I do not want to be a feminist. I want to be pretty.

Those people just make things hard for themselves and others and I really wish they people would just move to France and go be socialists away from me. I am really worried about the state of the nation though. With Obama as president,these sorts of situations are bound to increase and then what am I supposed to do, go pick up my own sandwich? I sure hope not.

Naughty Monkey

2008-12-02T11:41:00.000-06:00

Last night, I had the most amazing dream. Sarah Palin and I were having salads and Diet Dr. Peppers at a trendy outdoor cafe in the middle of Manhattan. We were wearing matching red leather jackets. At our Naughty Monkey shod feet, were tasteful shopping bags from Saks, Niemans, Coach and a couple of boutiques I can't recall now.

In a puff of blue smoke, Alec Baldwin appeared.

He knelt down in front of Governor Palin and asked her if she wouldn't consider appearing on his television program "30 Rock." "I'm so sick of Tina Fey and her bossy ways," he said in his husky voice, his eyes not leaving the Governor's face for even a second.

Sarah laughed, tossing her head back, showing her beautiful neck. She had on the most sparkly diamond polar bear earrings. "Well, I'll have to check with Todd," she smiled at Alec. "He's really the boss, ya know....." she winked then and Alec looked at me to see if I could tell if she was teasing or not. I just smiled and shrugged.

Baldwin disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Sarah leaned forward conspiratorialy and whispered, "I always knew he was of the Beast."

I nodded and looked over her shoulder. Was I imagining things? Was that John McCain standing over by the potted evergreen? The balding, white haired man ducked back behind the tree.

"Sarah," I said, tilting my head in McCain's direction, "is that John McCain?"

She just laughed her amazingly feminine laugh again and swung her shapely leg over her knee. The buckle on her red peep-toe pump caught the light. I was momentarily hypnotized by it as it swung impatiently back and forth.

"Oh, you betcha, that's John. He's still trying to find some dirt on me so he can pin the loss on me," she glanced over her shoulder, her lips pursed angrily for just a nanosecond.

Turning back, she smiled again and picked up her fork to play with her salad distractedly. I watched her, sneaking glances at McCain's hiding place. Suddenly, a stretch Hummer with vanity plates reading "Relieved" pulled up to the curve. Senators Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman jumped out and ran to McCain. I watched as they pulled him back to the Hummer and shoved him in.

I shook my head to clear it. "Sarah? Senators Lindsey Graham and Joe Lieberman just came and took Senator McCain away," I whispered breathlessly. How odd. I didn't even know I would recognize those men.

Sarah just waved her perfectly manicured hand and went on munching her salad. "Happens all the time," she said between bites, "they can't keep him locked up all the time, I guess....." her voice trailed off.

Without any warning, the scene changed and Sarah and I were bundled up in cute, matching snowbunny outfits. We were wearing designer skates, twirling around on the ice at Rockefeller Plaza.

"Sarah! Isn't this beautiful?" I asked, my breath making white puffs of smoke in the frosty air.

"Oh, you betcha!" she winked at me. "But you want to know what's really beautiful?"

I smiled and waited. The lights twinkled around us. I could hear the whoosh, whoosh of the other skaters as they glided past us.

"The reason for the season, Mags! The reason for the season!!!" Sarah shouted as she drifted by me in the most graceful arabesque.

"Jesus?" I said and bowed my head the way Father taught us to do.

"No, silly!" Sarah stopped and looked at me, her head cocked to one side. "Shopping!!!!!" she shouted and then went into the most amazing spin ever.

*************************************

When I woke and told Stephen about my dream, he just grumbled at me. It sounded like he said "Well, that's what you get for stopping at Phipps Plaza before you went to the Palin/Chambliss event."

What a hateful thing to say! Stephen has no idea how difficult it is to maintain this lifestyle!

A Real Women Knows Her Niche

2008-11-30T10:49:00.016-06:00

While, yes, I am excited about my wedding being less than 150 days away, I am being distracted by other things today. Last night, William and I went to eat dinner with the Mitchell's and, I can't believe I am going to say this, Judy really is clueless.

She said she voted for Obama and that Sarah Palin is the reason. I have suspected her of being a liberal for a few years now, ever since she started working with that downtown arts foundation, but I just cannot believe Stephen would tolerate such a thing as this. They put on a good act, but there is no doubt in my mind that this will end in divorce. And, what about their children? This really sends such mixed messages to them. "It's okay for others to have their gay weddings and abortions on the tax payers' dime, but you should behave differently." What a double-standard that all is.

William has made it clear to me that he is a Republican and that is something I have chosen for myself, as well. It would be akin to William's converting to something other than Methodist. I don't know, I suppose people change their minds from time to time, but I just don't think I could handle such a complete change of heart.

Another thing I am in a funk about and having to get out of my system, so I can get back to the wedding planning, is all this talk of Hillary Clinton's being Secretary of State. I just cannot stand her. It's obvious that people do not know much about her and are using her as a token in a way that is simply not necessary. You already won, Democrats. (Heeelloo!) Condaleeza Rice already broke that barrier and I just know it's all of Clinton's ties to the liberal elites that are getting her that job. Some women use their looks and some their positions as former first ladies and that just makes me my stomach queasy. We had a chance for Sarah Palin to be president, for her to appoint someone like Newt Gingrich to be our Secretary of State. There just isn't any comparison between Newt and Hillary.

Oh, I'll step down off my soap box, now. I just get so upset by feminists who say that Hillary is more of a feminist than Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin shoots moose and that is very feminist of her, while Hillary Clinton let the world find out about her husband's affair and came out looking like a doormat. That's what the US is going to look like to the world, a doormat.

Clinton has no foreign affairs experience and she's never been the executive of a state like Sarah Palin. There I am looking at the "what-if"s again. I guess writing it does help. I feel like I can get back to wondering if maybe Mags and Mother are right about the cream-colored flowers. I have been really stuck on pink flowers to match the bridesmaids' dressess, but am wondering if pretty bridesmaid dresses might show up my wedding dress anyway. Maybe the bridemaids should be more subdued. I have been trying to call the florist all day to ask him what he thinks and, I swear, he's avoiding my calls.

Since I got up and went to early church today, I have some time to go power walk here in a bit. I'm trying to get in better shape for my wedding (duh). I've been on a diet for the last month and lost a couple pounds I can tell. I'm trying to get down to a size 3. Being a 5, I feel really big when William touches me, so I'm trying to avoid that until I get to be a little smaller.

I like that this blog is a place where I get empowered to lose the weight I need to lose. Maybe Hillary Clinton's husband wouldn't cheat on her all the time if she didn't wear those man suits and lost a few. I just don't want to turn out like her, you know.

I know you do.

Love, Mimi

Life's Little Reminders

2008-11-29T16:24:00.017-06:00

Now that the holiday season is upon us, I just wanted to comment on how greedy people are. I cannot believe that some people are blaming Wal Mart for that worker's death. All Wal Mart is trying to do is to give those who do not have what others of us have a chance to think they do. And, I can understand the excitement those people were experiencing; they had a real chance to get some items that would normally be impossible for them to afford to make them feel good about themselves for a change. And then this happens. The whole thing is so tragic.

Sometimes, we so badly want to blame other people for what we cannot understand that we lose sight of the fact that God has a plan. We just don't know what it is. I mean, take Jesus. Did he complain that he was being killed by that king? No. And, he did that for us, for you and for me. That's what this season is all about, remembering to keep things in a proper perspective and honoring Jesus's death, so that we remember what's really important in life.

While I am very excited about the holidays and the fact that my wedding is only five months away, I am getting a little nervous. William and I are planning to go to England to see all the vineyards and we are going to stay in a lovely bed and breakfast and there is the issue of sex. I have been very nervous about the prospect of having sex with William. Mostly, I am very worried that he will be able to tell that I am not a virgin. I trust Mother's advice that it would be a mistake to tell him, but sometimes those little seeds of doubt slip into my mind. When that happens, I just say the Lord's Prayer and that usually works.

It's these feminist issues that really get to me at times. I know darn well that William is not a virgin. In fact, if he were, I would definitely think that something was wrong with him, but what if his doesn't fit or I forgot how to do it. It's been three years that I've been dating William. I know that before that James and I did it all the time, but after he broke up with me, Mother told me that if I wanted to marry a man, I was going to have to reclaim my virginity and let the sins of the past be of the past. I am wondering if I should have my hymen reconstructed. I think it broke. I didn't really notice, but I'm pretty sure William would. My virginity and our waiting to have sex is very important to him.

Oh, I feel better to get that off my chest. It's been nagging at me for so long. I just want my wedding to hurry up and get here, so that I can just get that part of it all behind me. The rest is exciting and there is so much to do that I take back what I said about wanting it to just get over with.

I hope that William's family likes the Christmas presents I got them. I feel so sorry for all the people who aren't done with their shopping already. They have to deal with all the dangerous crowds. The only person I haven't gotten a Christmas present for is William. I wonder what he got me. I was thinking about getting him a watch, but he has one, and I wouldn't want to get him something to wear. That's too impersonal. I just really don't know what he likes.

It's funny. I don't feel like stopping, but I don't really have anything else to say. I'm not going to say that Goodbye, Mr. Fluffington thing anymore. It just seems silly and now that I'm thinking about all the things I have that others don't have, I feel like it would be glib of me to make jokes at a time like this. I think this must be why Mother and Daddy have always told me that it is in poor taste to reveal to others exactly how much money one has. I can see how it would just hurt other people if they knew. I think that's what being a good Christian is all about, thinking of others and there it is, full circle. That's what I was talking about, not being greedy.

What Recession?

2008-11-28T11:08:00.006-06:00

I don't usually go out the day after Christmas. Here, in the Atlanta-metro area, they don't call it Black Friday for nothing.

I should have known better.

My middle son desperately wants the newest version of the Wii - the Musician - and I thought that I might be able to get it at the Target, along with some items I needed for the house (paper towels, aspirin for Stephen's daily heart regimen, Qtips). I knew that there might be crowds, but the economic news has been so bleak, I assumed that the people who normally shop at Target wouldn't be lining the parking lot because they just don't have money to spend this year.

When I glided the GL550 into the Target lot, I was stunned to find the lot half full already. It was early, 8:30 a.m. and the store was buzzing with activity already! I sat for a moment and considered whether or not to go inside, but decided that I was already there so I may as well go inside. We were almost out of QTips and aspirin, anyway.

The crowd wasn't terribly unruly as I made my way back to electronics. I approached the counter to ask the Target worker where I could find the Wiis. Just as I got there, another woman, most definitely the recipient of many government programs slid her shiny red shopping cart in front of me and turned her back on me, as if to issue no apology for her rudeness. I stood fuming as she asked the Target worker a million questions.

As I waited, I watched the other shoppers. There were people milling about with full shopping carts, but no one was fighting or screaming. I wondered where all these people were getting the money to buy all those Christmas gifts. This recession talk is clearly a big lie. These people weren't spending their money on food and necessities. They were loading up their buggies with electronics, digital cameras, games, cds, toys, clothes and those junkie packaged gifts for teachers and bus drivers.

Finally, another worker walked behind the counter and asked if he could help me. "I'm looking for the Wii Musician," I said.

He blinked at me for what seemed like minutes. The smile froze on my face. What was wrong with this guy? "I'm sorry, M'am, but we don't have any in stock."

Of course.

"Well, thank you anyway," I continued to smile even though I was on fire with rage inside. Why do I even bother to try to shop locally? I wondered to myself. Recession, my aunt fannie. People have pleny of money to spend if all the Wiis are already snapped up.

I was so annoyed that I left the store without the paper towels, aspirin and QTips. I realized it as I was about halfway home. Still angry, I yanked my cellphone from its slot in my new Coach purse and dialed my Mother. I got her voice mail. Shoot! I forgot that it was 9:00a.m. Friday. She was having her weekly spa treatment and that's one of the few times she turns off her phone. I thought for a moment about calling my sister Elizabeth, but thought better of it. She would be busy putting up her Christmas decorations and would be too distracted to listen to me.

I pulled into the CVS and ran inside to grab the things I'd forgotten at Target. My cellphone rang. It was my middle son Brock. He wanted to know if I'd found the Wii Musician

"No, Darling, I haven't gotten one yet," I sighed into the phone.

"Mom, just go online. Do you want me to do it?" he offered. I thought for a second, that I would say yes, but that just seemed wrong. A fourteen year old shouldn't buy their own Christmas gift.

"Mom?" he yelled into the phone.

"No, Honey, I'll do it when I get home," I said.

He got upset and said some ugly things that I'm sure he didn't mean. I tried to stay calm. My eyes wandered from the CVS sign to the store next to it.

"Honey, Mommy has to go. We'll take care of it the minute, the second I get home. I promise I'll get you the Wii you want. I love you, of course, you'll get the Wii." With that, I pushed the disconnect. He just needed time to cool off.

My phone buzzed again and again, but I ignored it as I walked through the aisles of the store until I came to the display of Ketel One.

Giving Thanks

2008-11-27T15:03:00.008-06:00

Ok, I know it's Thanksgiving and I'm supposed to be thankful and all, but I have my wedding to think about here and I just wonder what some people are thinking! It may not be very clear to them that I am referring to the most important day of my life for which I just want things to be perfect, but when William's family told me that they just wanted to take a break from talking about the wedding and enjoy the holiday today, I just couldn't believe it.

So, what am I thankful for? I'm thankful I have this blog, where it's all about me and Mags and America and God and I can talk about my wedding all I want without selfish people trying to make the focus on them. Sometimes, I wish I were a man, so I could go hunting at 5AM on holidays and get these shooting urges out of my system. Men are so lucky that way. My little silver purse gun will probably just sit in my purse never used.

I just wonder why people get things so backwards. The first amendment defends our right to bear arms and some people seem to want to make that the right to bare breasts and that really has me worried. I am very worried about what sort of influence that is going to have on my future children and grandchildren. How will I protect my children from these threats to our way of life?

So, while some people are busy today thinking about the past, something they can't change, I am only trying to think ahead to the future. I was trying to decide whether I should wear my hair up or down? I'll see if I can't make one of those polls and put it in the side bar. Since William's family was no help, maybe I can get your opinion.

Thanks Mr. Fluffington. (Once again, I feel so much better!)

Love, Mimi

I Love This Woman!

2008-11-26T16:02:00.004-06:00

She has such a charitable heart!

Happy Thanksgiving! Remember to keep the true spirit of Thanksgiving in your hearts as you give thanks to God for giving us the Indians' land.

Does This Blog Make Me Look Fat?

2008-11-24T03:40:00.009-06:00

You know what scares me? People who don't read the bible.

Seriously, I wake up at night worried about where their souls are going to go when they die. Don't they know what Jesus said? Anyway, I also woke up because the flower arrangements Mother is looking at for the wedding are all wrong. I want pink and she wants cream. I know Daddy's paying for it, but whose wedding is it?

I'm not sure I like the direction this Obama presidency is going. He really hasn't fixed the economy yet, and all those fires in LA are scaring me. Why doesn't he do something about them? I knew when he said he would end the Iraq war, he was just making promises he wouldn't keep. I have not heard of the war being over. I'm only focused on the issues here and really it's just because I wanted a female president. President Palin would have done a lot to make the US prettier in the eyes of the world. No offense to former presidents, but George and Laura just had poor taste. It shows in those daughters of theirs, but I'm not one to gossip.

There is just something I have to get off my premarital chest. William's sister is driving me insane. I can't believe they let her into the Junior League. She's got those kids that scare me. She doesn't take them to church and I even heard her oldest is going to major in Women's Studies at Berkeley. We all know what that means (shhh lesbian -you didn't hear it here).

Carlos, my psychiatrist, is so right. Writing about my feelings is so cleansing.

Goodnight, Mr. Fluffington.

Love, Mimi

(And, Mags, Carlos said the good thing about blogs is that no one reads them, so you can write as little or as much as you want, about anything.)

Does This Make Me A Blogger?

2008-11-23T18:09:00.004-06:00

My friend and I were discussing the elections. I was telling her how I'd voted for John McCain and Sarah Palin by absentee ballot (I had to vote absentee because I had a tennis match and club luncheon on election day.) She was just as unhappy as I was about the election results. Then she mentioned this blog to me - a place where she can vent about her fears for our nation - and asked if I might want to blog here, too.

I am not a blogger, I thought to myself.

But it's true there are many long days when the children are busy, my friends are booked up and I am at the loosest of ends. Daytime television is awful and I can't chat with my mother and sister on the phone everyday, all day.

I used to like writing in high school. I might even find I have a talent for it. So I thought, why not? Except. Except I don't want anyone I know to know that I'm blogging. They simply wouldn't understand. I don't think I could deal with what they might think.

As my friend mentioned, we've got busy times ahead of us. The holidays, our vacation, school break for the children, my father's visit (yes, he is bringing his wife) and then the dreaded inauguration. I still cannot believe that is happening.

More later, but who knows when. I guess I better talk to my friend about how often she wants me to write.

Sssshhhhh.......

- Mags

Deciding to Do Something!

2008-11-23T08:56:00.002-06:00

I'm so bummed out. I just heard Sarah Palin lost the presidential election. I blame John McCain! Sarah really didn't have a chance with him on the ticket. Now that Obama is president-elected, I figure I'm going to need a place to complain all the time, so I'm starting this blog. I know that socialism is coming and I'm not really sure how I can prepare for that. I guess there are going to be a lot of parties, but does that mean they're going to tell me what to wear and play that Katy Perry song all the time?

Anyway, now that the election is over I am hoping I can get back to more important stuff, like Christmas shopping and planning my wedding. I just hope the liberal elite don't ruin marriage before April. That would make Mother so mad.

Well, I think now that I got all of that out of my system, I'll be able to rest easy.

Goodnight, Mr. Fluffington.

Love, Mimi