Third Time's a Charm

This is the third partial post I've written since becoming Mrs. von Thirstnhowl. I didn't finish it properly, but my not posting has put me en league with lazy liberal bloggers who get all their posts for free. Sarah Palin. Dick Cheney. Ann Coulter. Donald Rumsfeld. George Bush. Bill O'Reilly. Condaleeza Rice. Rush Limbaugh. Pat Robertson. Tom Cruise. Exploited cases in point. All we have are Al Gore. Michael Moore. Oprah Winfrey and Keith Olbermann. We can't even use Ted Kennedy anymore or we're being insensitive.

Oops. I digressed. Here's the post I wrote yesterday until I just laid down and cried on my bed for the rest of the evening while William worked late. I hope I'm pregnant.

I really should have been here sooner, I know. William and I have been back from out honeymoon in Belize for over a week now and I haven't even let any of our loyal readers know how my wedding went. I want to thank all of you who purchased lovely wedding gifts for us. (You know who you are.) The Sarah Palin hair poll can finally go away since I wore my hair up and it was a smashing success. I even had it dyed Sarah's color, so it could look exactly like hers.

I suppose the real truth is that I've been in a post-wedding depression of sorts. After all the years of planning, after all of the work and anticipation, it's over. Sure I got a lot of silver and crystal, some beautiful home decorations, that Lexus from William, and loads of cash, but besides that what makes being married so special. I don't even really feel different.

And now, I don't even have my virginity. William pushed and pushed to have sex all this time, and I really wanted our first time to have sex with each other to be special, and I'm not saying it wasn't, but I expected more I guess. After about 10 minutes, and I was looking at the clock, so I think that's right, all I could think about was how Miranda caught my bouquet. Who even invited her? And William's mother. Her toast to me was so cold and aloof that I fear she will never love me as her own. Her daughter.

I guess I just wished that William and I talked more. I've been feeling lonely, I suppose and I expected being married to cure my loneliness forever. It almost seems worse. There must be something wrong with me. Other women who are married always look so happy. I don't even feel like I fit in with them. Maybe when William and I have a child, I'll feel better about the other wives, but for now, all I hear them do is complain about being married. C'mon. They probably don't know what it's like for a woman to not get married until she's in her 30's. By that point a woman starts to question whether or not she will even ever get married, much less have children. I am blessed on those accounts certainly.

Don't get me wrong. William and I were a stunning bride and groom. I could hear the hushed exclamations of admiration as I was walking down the aisle, but I guess I just expected something to happen between William and I.

As I stated above, this is as far as I got yesterday, so I'm posting it anyway. I think I'm feeling better today. I am concerned about Swine Flu. There's no doubt that Obama's inexperience will prove disastrous as this situation develops into an emergency. People will be sorry they do not have Sarah Palin's experience as a medically responsible mother to guide them. Just look at how her pro-active measures have kept her children healthy (besides Trig, of course). I'm not referring to him in any way shape or form, ever. Never. Not like those nasty liberals who wanted to claim she was Bristol's child. Well, Bristol was pregnant, so that would be impossible and don't they look stupid now? And, I'll not mention how illegal immigration is no doubt going to be the cause of many deaths here in the US. God is stern with his children because he loves them. Do not forget that as you go and spread his love.

I do feel better, getting these things off my chest and helping others- as this post no doubt will.

Thanks, Mr. Fluffington.
Love, Mims